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Elderly parents

Help with elderly grandmother

2 replies

SunshineMummy2 · 10/09/2023 17:00

Hi
Hoping the Mumsnet masses can help me.
My grandmother has had 2 strokes in the last 4 months but is fighting on. After some rehabilitation she has been returned home and has a carer 3 times a day for 45 mins.
She also happens to live with my uncle who is also now very unwell with MS.
I live an hour away and her private carer who she was paying through her government given attendance allowance is AWOL due to "missed payments"
My mum passed away and my siblings want nothing to do with my gran so it's basically me.
I'm struggling with work and my own family but trying my best to get over there and help as much as possible.
I have tried to contact her local council on what can be done for cleaning and general house upkeep and haven't heard back.

Is this usually privately done?? I have no idea how her house will stay clean, my uncle struggles a lot and is getting worse and he's asked if I can get someone to help
It's a mini nightmare, any advice?!

OP posts:
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 10/09/2023 20:07

You need to contact Social Services through the council and tell them that she is vulnerable and even though your uncle lives with her he can't physically care for her. What has happened to the payments? Has she not been paying for the carer or is the carer pulling a fast one and saying she hasn't been paid?

Is she ok cognitively? What about your uncle? What's wrong with him? Is it something that he will recover from like flu or does he have long term health issues?

Blueskies55 · 10/09/2023 20:21

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere
My uncle has multiple sclerosis which isn't improving and he is very unwell and waiting to be rehoused and have his own carer package.

The private carer my gran has has been charging for visiting my gran in hospital while she was recovering from the stroke and says she needs to be paid for that. I challenged why she was even visiting anyway as my gran had care from nurses etc and she said that her gran told her to come. It needs to be resolved between them when my gran hopefully gets better.. however until then she isn't really an option.

Cognitively she is very confused a lot of the time and definitely needs support but the next issue is the house falling apart. I'll try the council tomorrow
Thank you

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