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Elderly parents

Stubborn mother

7 replies

Icecreamcoffee · 16/08/2023 11:51

I live at home with my mother. She's in her 70s. I find that she can be extremely stubborn and arguementative and it's so pointless and mindless.

We have a problem with the kitchen sink cabinet. It's very smelly and damp in there. There is clearly a leak. I observed the pipes under the sink and I can't find a drip. I took a flashlight to the cabinet and I was able to find the source of the leak. The leak is coming from on top. Any time the tap is turned on, the tap is leaking. The water is not draining into the sink but spilling over onto the back counter and all around the sink.

The solution for now is to keep the area as dry as possible. I find placing towels down to mop up leakage is just not enough. Any use of the tap is soaking the towels within minutes.

The other solution is to use the sink for as little as possible. Until we get a plumber and repair man in.

I informed my mother of this and I asked her to use the sink for as little as possible and all she did was argue with me and argue with this request. I'm not asking her to climb a mountain and jump of it.

She has a load of habits like

  • washing her face in the kitchen sink
  • washing her hands in the kitchen sink
  • washing her hand in the kitchen sink
  • she refuses to use the dishwasher and she washes by hand.

These are three things that can be done to reduce usage til we get it looked at.

It was a simple ask and request that I made this morning to try and reduce the water damage that I am see under the sink.
All she did was argue with me and them she turned around and turned on the tap for 5 minutes to splash her face all the while she had a face of spite on her. It was definitely a protest move. Then she turned on the tap and let it run for another 5 minutes before filling the kettle.

My request was trying to preserve what we have of the kitchen and to prevent further damage. Not to boss her about. All she did was argue and protest. She knows we have a problem with the sink.

OP posts:
LylaLee · 16/08/2023 11:54

There's nothing you can do to change her.

Do you want to live 20/30 more years like this?

Wheresthebloomingsummersunshine · 16/08/2023 13:32

She sounds contemptuous and spiteful. Can you move out and leave her to it.
I'd be suggesting with a headtilt that she sees a doctor about her memory problems as she's having problems with comprehension and following instructions

tescocreditcard · 16/08/2023 13:33

Just get a plumber in!

Aquamarine1029 · 16/08/2023 13:50

Fix the issue yourself, it's not that hard, or call a plumber and deal with the situation. You're not a child anymore and you don't need her permission.

jannier · 16/08/2023 15:15

Fill up a kettle and some bottles for drinks, Turn the stop valve off under the sink and drain all water into bowl call a plumber or Google how to change the washer. Problem solved.

betterchange · 16/08/2023 15:55

Whose house is it, @Icecreamcoffee ?

Knotaknitter · 16/08/2023 17:16

You say you didn't intend to boss her about but that's the way that she's taken it. She's intent on showing you that you are not the boss of her. When it happened to me during lockdown we were months bringing water down from the tap upstairs but this is my house and I'm in a position to lay down the law. (In my case the tap needed a new cartridge)

If it's her house she may not appreciate being told what she can and can't do, even when it's for a really good reason.

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