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Elderly parents

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Original poster

Care homes

15 replies

Trixieboo87 · 13/08/2023 07:57

Hi , my parent is 86 and has had a series of health problems which means 24 hour care
I’m desperately looking for a nice care home has anyone got any recommendations in the Stanmore , Harrow areas please ? I was thinking maybe a small care home as my relative was in a big care home with so many residents which always had a huge turn over of staff

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/08/2023 10:23

Having been through all this twice, I can only suggest making a list of those in the area you want, and then visiting them. We visited a lot for DM and FiL before finding the one that felt right.
I’d always ring first, and discount any that ask you to make an appt. just for an initial look around. Avoid mealtimes though, when staff are extra busy. Any good CH should be happy for you to come for an initial look around.

Chowtime · 13/08/2023 10:26

Have you thought about live-in care?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/08/2023 16:21

If someone needs 24 hour care, it can easily work out quite a bit more expensive than a nice care home, because you need at least 2 carers on shifts - plus you have all the expenses of running a house, food, bills, etc., on top.
We looked into it for an old aunt of dh who needed night time help as well as daytime, but the cost was a lot more than we’d expected.

SheilaFentiman · 13/08/2023 18:04

Each to their own, but I would absolutely expect to make an appointment to look round. A staff member will need to show you and there may not be someone free, particularly in a smaller home, at any random hour

SheilaFentiman · 13/08/2023 18:05

I would also be aware that not everywhere will have space and to expect waiting lists

SheilaFentiman · 13/08/2023 18:06

We looked round two for my dad. The manager took us around one - if he had been away on a course or whatever, I doubt we could have seen it. They also cannot let you in if they have out breaks of anything.

in the other, an HCA pushed my mum
around and the manager flitted in to tell us things for part of the tour

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 13/08/2023 18:12

Does the person want to move into care and will they be self-funding @Trixieboo87?

Original poster

Trixieboo87 · 14/08/2023 17:49

I haven’t mentioned care as didn’t want any set backs with recovery & physio but yes self funding , does anyone know what happens once the money runs out from the property ?

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EmmaEmerald · 15/08/2023 13:33

I'm afraid I don't know any in the area

I think high staff turnover is probably a thing. Mum is in a care home that she was in November - both respite stays - and I was really surprised to see so many of the same staff.

in terms of money, in theory, when the local authority take over funding, they don't like to move people but in practice I don't know if that happens.

EmmaEmerald · 15/08/2023 13:34

Oh, they also need to meet the patient to see if they can manage their needs

Original poster

Trixieboo87 · 16/08/2023 21:02

I’m at a loss Thankyou for your replies , like I said I’d love him to go home but I’m the only one to support him and I can’t be with him when things go wrong with carers it could also be different faces every day .

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thesandwich · 16/08/2023 21:07

Contact adult social care at your county council- they should have lists of services and may be able to advise on ones they’d support when cash runs out.
local recommendation is best- ask at the gp surgery/ church etc for experiences.
and ones to avoid.
some care companies are better than others- home instead franchises have a good reputation. Not cheap.

Original poster

Trixieboo87 · 18/08/2023 08:32

Thankyou for your replies I have looked into private carers but it’s too expensive as we would need carers 4 times a day .
I’m at a loss and don’t know what to do , I have phoned a few care homes but tbh I’m not getting a feel for any of them .

OP posts:

SheilaFentiman · 18/08/2023 09:52

Carers four times a day is cheaper than a care home. But not necessarily helpful if he needs someone on hand overnight etc

Original poster

Trixieboo87 · 24/08/2023 09:25

Hi , the latest update is that there was a mental assessment & it’s been documented that my dad doesn’t have mental capacity to make decisions on his destination after rehab
How can this be ? Two weeks ago he had capacity and when I visited him yesterday there was no confusion, he’s had a few uti infections due to the dreaded catheter but to me he’s frail but mentally fine

Hes also eating very little now and had lost a few stone I’ve requested that a Dr takes a look at him as I’m worried sick about his loss of appetite.

I was told yesterday that two referrals have been made to two care homes nobody mentioned this to me as I have explained it’s only myself and my sibling will be visiting and she can’t travel to this particular borough on transport as it’s too far . I mentioned in an email to them that I had visited a care home nearer to my sibling if they would consider it but it’s been disregarded. I have spoken to Age Uk and they said that social services can move him to another borough they were very helpful and sent me info

we have a family best interest meeting tomorrow and I’m very nervous as to where they will sent him the social worker said ghat once he’s in the care home he’ll have 4 week’s assessment.

OP posts:

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