I posted this in chat earlier, decided to try here as well.
My mum is in her 80s, is morbidly obese, disabled and housebound as a result, widowed and lives with weight related daily pain. She can just about get around her flat but struggles with everything. I have tried to persuade her to consider moving into sheltered housing closer to me, but she wont. She spends her daytimes lying on her bed because she is cold/in pain/tired, and nights she can't sleep because of pain/toilet visits/wide awake. I visit twice a week (I live an hour away) and phone her daily but she is isolated...and I just find it utterly depressing that this is her life. She has lifelong disordered eating and realistically, nothing is going to change with that at this stage of her life, so her weight will continue to impact her quality of life negatively. There appears to be nothing I can do to help, I have tried all sorts over the years, so how do I learn to support her whilst protecting myself from my worry surrounding her rubbish quality of life?