Experiences of emergency care

[Anothernamethesamegame]

My father cares for my mum full time. To give an idea of her needs- She needs help transferring in/out of bed/chairs, uses a wheel chair and wheeled frame to move in between chair/toilet/bed etc. she also needs someone to make her food/drink and to do her toileting (putting pads on/off/wiping etc).

They refuse to have carers in, or more specifically mum refuses and dad has always enabled her so goes along with everything she wants without much input. They have had an assessment and had things like physio, an OT and equipment. Dad accesses a caters group……but they refuse any actual care.

My big worry is what happens if dad passes away or becomes unable to care for her in an emergency (eg has a heart attack and gets hospitalised). How does care get organised for someone with this levels of need at short notice.

I've not been in this situation but wondering if your DM has a SW? I'm wondering if SS would help in these circumstances?

It must be so horrible for you to watch this pan out. Have you discussed what will happen with them?

Are you nearby?
Do you have siblings?

In emergency if no family can step she would be taken to hospital with your father for instance. Adult social services have an out of hours number and can sometimes get a same day care placement but if not ultimately hospital would have to take her until she can be transferred

Physical care packages are like hen's teeth around here. My Dad was in need of palliative care and our experience of the system was desperately poor I'm sad to say.

You need to avoid this building to crisis point. There's no way that someone elderly can be a full time carer for their partner, a friend's Dad died of a massive heart attack this way and family didn't realise how much he was doing on top of not being in great health himself.

Time to wade in, I'm sorry to say, and protect your Dad. He's just as vulnerable as your Mum in this circumstance.

In my parents county there was an emergency carers scheme- you had to be assessed I think, but once registered my dad had a card to carry which said 'someone at home is dependent on me, please call this number' - and on the occasions he was taken into hospital SS were very helpful and sent carers initially, then later they would find her a respite care place.

I am a Social worker and have dealt with situations where a carer spouse has died suddenly. In this instance, the neighbours contacted us and stayed with the person who needed care for some hours while we desperately called round care homes (it was early evening). Eventually persuaded a care home to take the person and he was transported there that night. Had we been unable to find an emergency placement, he would have gone into hospital by ambulance until one could be found.

over the following days, we worked with him and undertook an assessment in order to determine if he should stay in care home, or return home with a package of care.

So that’s the sort of thing that would happen. It is also important that family members are clear about their boundaries with regards to what they can do, because lots of SW would try and push for families to step in for the short term, as finding emergency placements is challenging, as is arguing with the NHS that hospital admission is required.

HTH

When this happened in our family, we had to pay for private careers 4 times a day and do weekly long-distance commutes to do everything else. After multiple hospital admittances ( carers said he told them he was taking his medications so had to accept that and would not check etc) mainly due to said parent telling them they were fine, we had to sell the house to pay for care home fees. A broken hip enforced this.

We have a rapid response care service for situations just like those. Your Mum would not be admitted for social care reasons. If needed she would be given emergency respite care

thank you for all the replies. It’s very much appreciated.

I am near by but would only be able to help for a couple of days/a week in an emergency. Not longer term because of having children and work. I have one sibling who would not help at all.

She’s had a social care assessment but I don’t believe she has a social worker assigned. She has a OT and physio.

@MillWood85 sadly they won’t accept anyone care support. I’ve tried to “step-in” and encourage them to ask for services but they won’t. It’s a subject that has come up repeatedly and I will keep bringing up. Sadly I don’t believe they will accept anything until it gets to an emergency hence wondering what happens in that situation.

@CMOTDibbler - do you mind me asking where you are??

@FatCatatPaddingtonStation thank for fixing a professional perspective. Is this something that can be planned ahead for via contingency plans or is it just a case of dealing with it when it happens. In my head I have planned that in an emergency I would help for a weekish and contact social care with the date by which I cannot care beyond. Would that be the right thing to do?

Does anyone know- is it possible to have respite care in a planned way or is it just short care visits that people receive?

Will your parents be self funding or will they be dependent on social services for care? It makes a massive difference as to what can be offered and how quickly things can be put in place.

I think you are wise to save your breath until there is an emergency, but get your ducks in a row behind the scenes.

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime theyll be dependent on social care. No significant savings and they do not own their own home or any large assets.

In my area, a carers emergency support plan can be set up following a carers assessment through the carers team attached to adult social care, similar to that mentioned previously. It enables a conversation to be had and recorded about what should happen in these circumstances and when /if carer is no longer able to care due to ill health/hospital admission, then this will cover the first few days until a care package or respite can be set up.

@Anothernamethesamegame they were in Oxfordshire.

Lots of people have regular respite care. But it is differs between LAs, and I am in Wales where the legislation is a bit different. But if her needs have changed then ask for another assessment.