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Elderly parents
Original poster

Incomplete Sentences

11 replies

NotTooOldPaul · 20/07/2023 20:39

I am struggling at times. I wish it was an elderly parent, but this seems the best place to ask for advice.
My wife is 76 and will ask me a question such as “Where is the……?” or “Can you get me a …..?”
I find it really frustrating when she does not use a noun in the sentence. I end up trying to guess what she wants.
Is there any easy way to deal with this? I’m three weeks younger than my wife, I love her, I want to help her but this sometimes gets really difficult. I can’t see any way to get help or advice.

OP posts:
guzzleandstuff · 20/07/2023 21:11

I'm sorry OP - there's no easy answer to this. Is your wife aware that she is struggling? Has she mentioned it to you? How long has it been going on?
Realistically she needs to see a GP - but it has to come from her.

dessicatedblackbird · 20/07/2023 21:14

Has she always done it? I know I drive my family mad by doing this but I always have. My thoughts are quicker than my words.

guzzleandstuff · 20/07/2023 21:14

Specialist support to families facing dementia | Dementia UK
This would be a good place to start. I'm not saying it is dementia - not at all - but this organisation might be of use in helping you to find out one way or another.

Home

Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you. %

https://www.dementiauk.org/

PermanentTemporary · 20/07/2023 21:38

There are a few things this could be.

Has she seen the GP about this? Did it come on suddenly and were there any other symptoms at the same time? Or has it come on slowly?

In the meantime, does anything help the word come out? Try to give her time, but if the word won't come, try to get her talking about it another way - 'have i seen the... you're looking at the kitchen, I think you're talking about food' and see if she will say anything else about it?

It's hard on you but I dont think she can help it. Try to take breaks if you're losing patience 💐

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/07/2023 09:34

I think the key question is, is this a new thing or has she always done this? DH does something similar but he always has. I just say “you’re not giving me much to go on” “that’s not a question I can answer” and he finds the word. If it’s new thing, then it may be a sign of cognitive decline

TheSandgroper · 22/07/2023 13:14

I don’t want to be alarmist but that sort of thing was how a petit mal seizure presented in my dm. Granted, she had been unwell for some years but this was how the dr knew to look for a brain tumour.

I didn’t know what it was until the two nurses in the family saw her, got together and then one of them rang me to tell me to ring her oncology unit. I just thought her energy wasn’t good or something (I can’t really remember).

Fraaahnces · 22/07/2023 13:18

You need to get her to the GP… I have a horrible feeling it might be early dementia symptoms. She is forgetting words. (Unless she isn’t “really” talking to you. Sometimes people use their loved ones as sounding boards. They may not be looking for anything but connection. This does sound more sinister though.

Original poster
NotTooOldPaul · 22/07/2023 13:27

Thanks for all the helpful and supportive replies.
It is new and seems to be getting worse with time. It has probably gone on for a year or two now.
My wife had a CT scan recently and today received the results. Photo attached. She has an appointment with her GP next Thursday.
She worked for many years as a university lecturer so had no problem with words. She has been in hospital a few times and it is interesting when a nurse recognises her as one of the lecturers who taught her.
I will keep going, @MereDintofPandiculation “I just say “you’re not giving me much to go on” “that’s not a question I can answer”” that sounds really helpful.
Thanks everyone for your help.

Incomplete Sentences
OP posts:
SheWontSheCantShesLeft · 27/07/2023 00:34

Does your wife have trouble finding the word? Is it a language problem or more like her becoming more absent minded?

Three years ago, my mum went through similar. A scan showed no sign of a stroke. Her language loss progressed slowly at first, but in the last six months it had deteriorated rapidly. We have had a specialist speech and language assessment and are fairly sure that it’s a rare type of dementia called Primary Progressive Aphasia.

Original poster
NotTooOldPaul · 27/07/2023 07:43

SheWontSheCantShesLeft · 27/07/2023 00:34

Does your wife have trouble finding the word? Is it a language problem or more like her becoming more absent minded?

Three years ago, my mum went through similar. A scan showed no sign of a stroke. Her language loss progressed slowly at first, but in the last six months it had deteriorated rapidly. We have had a specialist speech and language assessment and are fairly sure that it’s a rare type of dementia called Primary Progressive Aphasia.

I'm not sure, probably absent minded.

OP posts:
WanderleyWagon · 27/07/2023 13:34

My dad has done this for quite a few years, though I think it's getting more pronounced. When he's with his girlfriend, who is also in her early 80s, I note that she waits for him to produce the word rather than finishing his sentences. I tend to say something like 'I'm going to need a noun!' in a jokey way, which I think he takes in the spirit in which it is said. I try to be as patient as I can, but I also let him know if he says something and I don't understand it.

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