Tips for helping elderly parents face reality?

[Pl242]

My MIL has rapidly declined over the past few years. Mostly a decline in mobility but we’re also concerned about possible cognitive decline too.

Things are getting worse but they can’t seem to see it and make changes to accommodate/mitigate it.

There have been a few incidents which we hoped would act as a wake up call. But so far all that seems to happen is that they talk about making changes then go back to muddling through.

We’re worried that if nothing changes then something really awful will happen such as a bad fall down the stairs etc.

But we don’t know how best to help them face up to the reality of the situation and to do so in a way that may encourage them to make much needed changes, but comes from them wanting to do that vs being browbeaten into it by the family.

Any advice?

There has to be a tipping point when you have, for your own sake and that of all your loved ones, who are worried out of their minds as well as picking up the pieces (in all senses), that you try and make the best of your situation, however unwelcome the reality of that might be?

Well, you'd say there is, I'd say there is but you're dealing with someone who won't, unfortunately. There's finding it difficult to come to terms with ageing and all the downsides that brings and there's being a damned fool about trying to stave off the inevitable. 'Giving up' or being seen to give up is hard but the alternative's worse.

Sorry, it's a very difficult situation for you. I had visions of this problem with DM when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer (she being the obstinate dogmatic type you couldn't argue with) but she got herself into a care place lickety split.

I have watched three DParents/PIL go through this. None of them gave any concessions whatsoever. Even after spending five hours on the ground in the garden in January, after a fall, did DF consider it a problem... Let them reap what they sow... It didn't end well for any of them.