Hip replacement surgery

[Chickenlicken15]

Hi my m in law is 93 and is due to have hip replacement next week she had her other hip replaced about 10 years ago. She is in severe pain now and can only just about get around at home with a zimmer . My father in law is 88 and very frail and goes to pieces without m in law
I’m shocked that m in law is due to be discharged from hospital having maybe only spent 3-4 days in hospital . No after care is in place and they have just been told that they should have someone spending the night there for 2 nights ‘just in case’
im worries about how they are really going to cope afterwards - I work part time and could only reallly go and help one day a week my sister in law could also pop in
f in law is adamant he can cope on his own and will be able to look after m in law when she gets home - I have my doubts on both fronts and have tried to get him to sort a list for what he is going to eat etc whilst in his own to check he has enough food but he was affronted by the suggestion and is always very difficult to handle and becomes very agitated v quickly
not sure what I am expecting anyone to say really other than we will have to muddle along as best we can I guess
the suggestion of carers going in was met with ‘what people we don’t know !’

Has an ot been involved to assess their home? Providing loo frames, chair risers etc? I wonder if they’ve refused discharge help or told staff their daughters will cover it….

Do you know what they've told the medical team etc? Could they have implied you'd do it?

Mine had this op but 25 years younger. She had 3 days in hospital and then went into residential care for respite for another 10 days after we emphasised there was no one around to provide assistance at her home. She paid for the respite herself.

We (her children) had to be really blunt that, no, we weren't available to spend the night, do shopping, get her to physio appointments, collect prescriptions as there was a big assumption that "someone" would just be around to do this stuff. But there was a lot of blackmail going on that I'd just drop everything and do it (I lived 5 hours from her at this point, had a toddler and was working!).

At my hospital all hip replacement patients see physio and OT before they are discharged and are only discharged if safely mobile, can get on and off bed and toilet safely and do the stairs if they have them at home. Often you find people are better than before as the severe pain is instantly gone! If deemed necessary temporary care home placement or help at home is put in so perhaps you are worrying needlessly, just ask to speak to the OT on the ward for reassurance.
Help will not be put in for cleaning or shopping but there are plenty of delivery options like Wiltshire Farm foods or supermarket online.

Yes, we found there was a big gulf between expected mobility on discharge and being totally independent.

Someone who can get themselves in and out of bed, onto the loo and up the stairs may well struggle with carrying in and unpacking shopping, microwaving a meal and getting themselves to appointments.

It’s standard to be discharged after three days but not before an OT has inspected the property and provided all the necessary aids. Can your MiL afford to pay for carers for a few weeks?

Private carers or respite for both for a month in a care home if they can afford?
Their rainy day is now here.
Be careful not to over commit, how you act now will set a precedent for the future.

Thanks everyone - m in l has been assessed by OT and is paying for an extra 2 nights - we will have to just wait and see how things go

You can get a seat for the toilet which helps a lot. It’s very tall but makes that easier.

My DF was discharged with crutches and he was more mobile after the op than he was prior. Lots of pain and refused meds to help. But generally it wasn’t as bad as we’d thought.