Dad & care home

[Loopylou38]

Hi I have posted here before regarding my dad having a stroke on the rd to recovery then caught Covid and deteriorated
He’s been in hospital 8 weeks now & was originally ready to be referred to rehab but then was seriously ill with Covid
I can see the decline and am now thinking there’s no way that he can sadly go home as he lives on his own . His mobility is pretty much non existent and he has a catheter bag

Care homes are a minefield and I don’t know where to start we are in London
Can anyone explain to me how I go about finding a good one please
He will be self funding

Tr y your local councils website and adult social care department. There should be a discharge coordinator who may have advice.
check the cqc website- they rate homes. But it’s like ofsted, just one view.
recommendation is often the best source- local contacts, gp, churches etc.
you could ask on here? Start a new thread?

Thankyou for your reply thesandwich this the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make

Sending 🌺🌺. No decision is forever- he may improve in a care/ nursing home?
It is so hard. One step at a time. But if you start a new thread asking for care/ nursing home recommendations in xxx area on here you may get specific names.
and please look after yourself.

Look for good staff rather than facilities. Expensive isn’t necessarily better. He’ll probably want an en-suite room if he’s dealing with a catheter bag and all the paraphernalia that goes with it.

Consider how long it will be till his money runs out - if that’s going to happen soon, then a home that the Council would fund saves having to move him.

Visit the ones that seem best on paper. How do the staff interact with residents? Do they all know them all by name? Are the staff happy, enjoying their work? How “hands on” is the manager?

Thankyou for your replies , I seen my dad today and he wants to go to rehab then home
when I spoke to the physio on Friday they think that rehab won’t help him now as he’s deteriorated due to Covid .
Sending home has to be given so much thought with carers etc , and the lonliness as his car was his life line , I doubt he’ll be able to drive again

I thought all care home rooms had ensuite bathrooms. Isn't that the case?

No I worked in a care home some rooms just had a sink and a commode chair. Shared facilities in corridor. Some had an en-suite loo and some had a proper en-suite wet room. I think the difference was about £300- 400 a week from the most basic rooms (normally had council funded residents in those) to the biggest rooms.

Interesting. I thought it became law some years ago that rooms had to be single occupancy, just assumed that came with an ensuite

No. My dad doesn’t, nor do many others in his home.

Is there a reason he couldnt manage at home with care workers offering support?

If he wants to go home I would try to facilitate that. If he has capacity to make decisions then no one can make him go into a care home against his will.

OP, if he's self funding but really wants to go home, what about a live-in carer? I imagine it'll be cheaper than a home but will allow him a bit more independence. You could perhaps try it and see how you get on!

I would love for him to go home he lives in a park home so a carer wouldn’t get any privacy or own bathroom facilities .
I keep thinking positive things about him going home and getting carers in but his mobility is very bad and he’s high risk for a fall
Hes also got a catheter although he uses the toilet for number two . What if he needs the loo during the night ? Who’s going to cook for him

I was also thinking about day time clubs for the elderly that for a fee he could get picked up and dropped home in the evening , do these exist

Other than that he’s going to be very lonely .

Ah yes, that is really tough then. A carer would need their own room and privacy, so it sounds as though a care home is your best option.

But if you can find a nice one where there's social activities, you might be able to persuade him of the benefits! I know a couple of people who found a new lease of life when they found the right home environment. I hope you get sorted soon.

If he has low mobility being at home alone for any length of time is a fall risk. If he is also lonely then a care home with a good community feel might be better all round.

www.carehome.co.uk is a good directory to find possible options close to you. I would also ask at the hospital, in facebook groups for your area, friends, neighbours, his GP for any recommendations or ones to avoid. Then do a visit to find out costs etc. when I was looking for my mum the ones I visited were very different in terms of size, activities offered, cost etc.

You should probably get him a needs assessment or discuss with the hospital where he will go post hospital as he still has his own home. Where my mum is the care home usually has several people there who are discharge to assess ie they came from hospital to assess if they are still able to live independently or need to be in a care home. If they can manage they go home with a care package. And it's easier to tell your dad he is being assessed as to what is best for him rather than it being a permanent move too.

And don't forget that if your dad has capacity this isn't actually your decision to make although you can have input. I think you need a needs assessment.

Prior to hospital discharge, he will be deemed "medically fit for discharge" at that stage a social worker will visit him and do an assessment, based upon then a decision is made as to what care needs he has and how to facilitate them. If you ring your local council adult social services dept they should be able to tell you if he's been allocated a social worker. Discuss all your concerns with them and go from there.

This was the system for many many years but most areas have now moved over to a system of 'discharge to assess' which means social workers/adult social care don't get involved until much further down the line.

The hospital basically discharge the person either into residential/nursing/rehab care or home with an interim care package, these are funded by the NHS for a set amount of time and adult social care must complete their assessments during that time and pick up the funding /arrange permanent placement or care packages.

if op asks for a social work assessment it won't prevent her dad from being discharged from hospital, the hospital will just insist he waits out the assessment from social services in a care home instead of a hospital bed.

@hatgirl I didn't realise, in our area we still do it the way I've described.

It's as hatgirl describes where I am which came as a surprise to me