Hi,
I’m new to this site so I will try and keep this short.
My mother suffers with paranoid schizophrenia and is a hoarder has been all my life.
As she’s got older now in her 60’s her day to day life has gone down hill. She takes medication for her mental health which I don’t think works but she won’t change the tablets. She has a ton of other ailments which she takes medication for but she has episodes where she’s well for 6 weeks then depressed for another. Her flat is so cluttered but doesn’t want help clearing it.
I stopped going there with my son as her toilet was in such a state from not cleaning it. I called out to her landlord to help her declutter which she agreed to and I attended a few meetings then they stopped updating me said your mother does not wish to disclose anything from the meeting even though I was her DA so I took myself off. She was buying more things and hiding it. She’s been put on the waiting list for MIND.
Then she become severely depressed told me she had leukaemia and was dying which was all voices in her head so I reached out to her doctor who visited her and reassured her she doesn’t have leukaemia advised she get some blood tests and chest X-ray done as she’s diabetic and has asthma and complained of not being able to stand up feeling dizzy. I think cos she’s not eating properly.
She later told me the doctor carried out the blood tests and every time I try and ask her about the results she makes some excuse up saying she thinks they’ve lost the results. I got im touch with her doctor who confirmed that she did not have any blood tests done only a chest x-ray which was ok they only requested her to go for the blood tests.
I don’t know why she’s lied to me for?
When my mother came round to dinner last month she asked me if I had told my son the reason why she hadn’t see him said did you tell him it’s cos you didn’t want him to use my toilet. That’s not the real reason she’s had o,e Ty of opportunities to see her grandson but us now blaming me. She even said don’t ever keep him away from me again for that long as it made me so mentally ill. I now feel upset and blamed as it really isn’t my fault.
When I saw my mother 2 weeks ago prior to arranging it each time I called to speak to her she either didn’t answer the phone or she waited until I mentioned my son that she picked up. It was to arrange to meet up in town. Then when she answered she didn’t even ask me how I was just said what time you picking me up ok bye.
I’ve not spoken to her for 2 weeks now as I usually call every week. She’s been very off with me each time and she even said before when she’s brought something from the ship don’t tell the landlord I brought it I bet you b*** well do. I work for her landlord but in a completely different department no connection whatsoever but I fell she has it in for me cos of that so I’ve kept my distance and will continue to do so as she’s shown me shes annoyed at me. Even when I saw her that day she was throwing digs at me negatively didn’t say anything nice to me. She’s been ok with my sister and is regular contact with her no problem at all.
My mother also took my son’s phone number and bank details said she call him she never does and also said she send him some money when she has a large sum but I know my sister has been getting it mainly.
I just don’t know how to deal with this anymore and keeping the distance is the only way away from my mother’s hatred for me as I feel I only wanted for her to get the help she needs which hasn’t backfired.
Even with the decluttering the rooms they have finished have gone back to being cluttered.