Help nursing home options

[Naicemum]

Hi, DM has sadly been diagnosed with a terminal illness. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. We're now at the point where she needs a nursing home.

Social services want to put her into an awful nursing home just outside her town horrible smell, historic abuse recorded by cqc, permanently advertising for staff, that's marked as 'needs improvement' it was failing but an assessment over lockdown upgraded to needs improvement even though they couldn't actually get in to do the assessments? We're saying no as we think it would be dangerous - if Mum's meds aren't managed carefully she becomes very unwell. Plus she would hate it there and we're scared her mental health would decline rapidly. There is a really lovely new nursing home that is in her town closer to her old home - it has great activities - Mum can join a knitting club, the gardening club, and there's a therapy puppy who visits every week she'd adore. But it costs more. Once we've sold mums home she can afford it but we can't get a deferred payment agreement as her home is a parkhome. We don't have the funds to top-up either. Can we refuse the rubbish home as unsuitable or will Social Services force her to go there? Help!

I don't if it varies between authorities? There were certain homes that I didn't want her to go to. The first one she was offered we refused and then I was worried that the second would be wrong as well. As it was as soon as we read the review and visited the second home we were happy with it.

Have you actually visited the home they want her to go to?

Have a look on the age uk website they have a series of fact sheets that will cover this sort of question and further resources if you need them. The fact sheets do take a bit of finding but they are really useful.

Is she in hospital presently? Local to me we have a "no choice policy" so people can be placed anywhere to free up beds.

Thanks all, sorry for late reply, Mum's condition keeps changing so a lot to deal with, have scoured the age uk website and the info doesn't cover our situation. It's a grey area really. But she's safe and well looked after in a hospice for now while we try and get it sorted.

You’ve not given many details (and that’s fine), but might you Mum qualify for a Continuing Health Care (CHC) funded placement? It’s where someone’s health needs are more than their care needs and the needs are complex and unpredictable. It’s notoriously difficult to qualify for but might be worth reading io about and asking the question of her care team.

Thanks for the thought but she doesn't qualify unfortunately. We will keep it in mind though as she may qualify further down the line.

Going through this at present. You could choose your care home but presumably you know they are £50-£100k per year! This might be fine but I would be worried how much a parkhome would fetch once sold. I guess sadly as the illness is terminal it might not matter

Unfortunately times have changed since my father had to go into a home and social services told us to go and find one and didn’t quibble. In our area they will only fund a home if you have dementia.