Hospital to care home - tips?

[SHparent]

Hoping to get tips from anyone who has done this for a parent...

My DF is bring discharged from hospital to a care home, possibly tomorrow. (And there are cartwheels of joy happening over that, he's been waiting a few weeks for it...) it's meant to be temporary until he can go to his own home.

What sort of thing will he need as he moves from hospital to care home? Presumably clothes and toiletries. (I've ordered labels, but it will be a very weird experience to label my father's underwear...). I'll get his radio from home. But what else would be good to help him settle?

He has short term memory loss but knows where he is and can hold a conversation. His poor mobility is the reason he is going to a care home - risk of falls.

It's been a horrid time and he is so desperate to get to his own home. But I'm glad we are finally at step 1 of that...

Some family photos would be nice, some of his favourite treats, chocolates or biscuits or a bowl of fruit if he has no dietary requirements. Plants and flowers are nice but in my experience the vases never get topped up or plants watered. Perhaps a fan in this weather if one is not provided and something nice to drink, juice or cordial. Perhaps a calendar and a clock too, it is very easy to loose the time of day, week or month especially if he has some short term memory loss. Labels are great but you may find him wearing other peoples clothing or that his goes missing, write his name inside his shoes and slippers too and if he has a walking frame or similar label that or put a sticker on so that you can recognise it easily amongst all the others that there will be in the home. I hope that he settles in well 😊

We got a laundry marker pen for Dad and literally wrote his name across everything he owned - and most of it still went missing in the laundry. You'll need to keep buying lots of socks and pants.... it was very odd to go into Dad and find him wearing someone elses clothes.... thankfully he was too unwell to care.

Dad liked photos, some orchids (we took responsibility for watering) and we also took one of his blankets from home that went over his bed. Check with the home about toiletries - they provided them where Dad was but we also got some and just wrote his room number on them with marker pen.

Some items to orient him and settle him in - familiar objects; EVERYTHING labelled, photos. Mobile phone plus rechargers to get in touch with family when he wants. Address book with tel nos in. Familiar smelling toiletries. Cross word puzzles? Batteries for a remote if he has a tv in his room. Give care home photocopies of his glasses and hearing aid if he wears them.

If it is temporary, consider doing his laundry while he is there - do not mean to burden you - care home lost ALL mil clothing within days, had her in underwear that was way too small and sitting in her nightie. This despite multiple name labels and her room number written on every item.
Other than that, some nice toiletries - the soa he likes to use for example, - and a photo or two.

Thank you for the replies...!

Sounds like we can expect missing clothes then... at 90 he is very old fashioned and frugal. He has 3 pairs of trousers (the mantra is one on, one clean and one in the wash) and absolutely refuses any more. And the trousers are all at least 30 years old! So that will be fun...!

But really good ideas here, thank you. I'll get some of the cordial he likes, and fetch his calendar. It's a page a day cat calendar and he love to see the new cat each day, I'd forgotten about that, brilliant suggestion!

I so hope this works out. We've had 4 weeks of super stress in the hospital and about a year of varying levels of stress as he has declined. Like so many, he refuses to face up to his age and abilities and its made life very difficult.

Everything will go into a boil wash, so bear that in mind when sorting clothes. Marker pen on labels or inside of top hem of pants works well and is less faff than sew in labels. Iron on labels will come off in the wash.

Label absolutely everything, chargers, charger cables, calendar, glasses, hearing aids.

He won’t need money so leave him the smallest amount possible to be secure. Perhaps look after his keys for him.

Please label his glasses and hearing aids, unlike pants and socks they are expensive and difficult to replace. He'll have no problems wearing someone else's clothes but someone else's glasses is another thing.

As you mentioned he has some memory loss, maybe fill in one of these forms for him to take. The care home probably have their own but it’s handy to have this in case they don’t - https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets/this-is-me

Did he transfer today? I'm sure it will have gone well.
The staff rotas in a care home might mean he is meeting lots and lots of team members on different days. Maybe do a little print out for the wall of a family tree with photos of family SH. Bring some blutack and maybe pop it in a 'pollypocket'... Lets the team know he has possibly one, two , three children etc and how many grandchildren... They can chat to him about the family while doing personal care.

So unfortunately my DF couldn't transfer yesterday. He needs a special mattress as he's developed a bed sore in hospital and it wasn't possible to set it all up in time. So he'll move on Monday. In a way, it's OK as we know it's Monday for sure so we can explain it to him and give definite answers. Friday was always a maybe and he was getting stressed about packing "all his things" in hospital - i.e a small toilet bag and 3 x magazines!

The washing tips are v helpful. All his trousers are dry clean only and most of his shirts may not be tumble dried. So I think we'll need to get some inexpensive things from M&S. My brother and I are visiting the care home today which will also help.

And thank you for the link to that document. While he can still talk for himself, it will be good to write down things about him to give context. Washing and the toilet are massive issues, he simply does not want any help and reacts very badly to it. It's a desire for privacy, and a 90 year old man of a different generation who is appalled at the idea of a young woman (and to him everyone is young!) seeing him naked. Right now he can do those things for himself albeit veeeeerrryy slowly. It's been a real issue while in hospital.

I slept so well the past 2 nights knowing he will soon be out of hospital but also somewhere that he'll be safe. Really hope this works out well 🤞🤞

When my dad went in to a care home temporarily, I went to Primark and bought him a load of cheap joggers, zip hoodies and t-shirts. Not his usual style at all, but cheap, comfy, easy to dress himself and it didn’t matter when they got lost or ruined.

I suggest you do an inventory of all his clothes, possessions, etc, when you take him in.

I name label all of DD’s clothes; she is supposed to do her own laundry with help; but still she comes home in other residents’ clothes. I go through her wardrobe and chest of drawers every time I go, to take out other women’s clothes. DD’s winter coat went missing for 3 months - it’s easier to ask where it’s gone, if you can point to the inventory with the make, size and description!

We let DD take in a photo album of members of the family, pets, our house, etc.

For DD, I had to fill in a 50 page form of every aspect of her day, from when she gets up until bedtime, so they could do a care plan. For example, breakfast, bathing, getting dressed, toileting, snacks, activities, lunch, dinner, getting ready for bed and bedtime. I had to describe how much help she needs at mealtimes - generally she can feed herself; but may struggle to work out how to get meat off a chicken leg with cutlery. Baths - she likes them lukewarm (due to sensory processing problems), but has no conception how to mix the taps to get that temperature of water. She can wash herself, but not her hair. Likes and dislikes of food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks and snacks. How to communicate with her. Dos and don’ts of behaviour towards her. How she takes meds.

I saw the importance of this, when MIL was in a care home for a month - we never saw even a basic care plan. She was offered cups of tea, and egg sandwiches, when if there were one thing, the whole extended family knew about her; it was that she couldn’t abide tea, eggs and pork!

We don’t have this problem; but SIL did over MIL - MIL’s packs of incontinence pants regularly “disappeared” from her wardrobe, particularly when they moved her to another room! In the end, SIL told them, no more packs of incontinence pants were to go missing! Keep track of what you take in, if applicable!

Take picture copies or scans of all these ‘my life’ documents as we moved to three care homes and also instead of an inventory of clothes we just took photos of each piece of clothing/ wool rugs/ spectacles etc s if it was missing we produced a photo to help staff repatriate

What’s the best way to label glasses?

We stuck a little label along the arm of the specs

Teeth were our biggest issue

And I still don't have an answer! They kept falling out as Dad lost more and more weight, and getting lost

Thank you 😊

Avoid luxury items for clothes, no need for anything woollen at this time of year but it might go in the wash and shrink.

You need Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare if he can still grant it - ie has semblance of mental capacity - then get this if you can, not easy as some of it needs witnessing from friends who've known him over five years. Frankly, without it you could be in a situation where he goes downhill at the care home due to poor care and the home and Social Services can use that as a reason to keep him there forever at a charge of over a grand a week - ker-ching! They may still be able to do that even in you have LPA but without it you're not the decision maker for their care, someone else is. When I say you 'need' this, it's for your and his benefits, not the care home's.

Get the manager's email address - some try to fob you off with 'have a friendly chat' routine, that's okay but also means you have no record of your chats. Not saying this will happen, saying it could, that's all.

I’d echo what some others have said. They will hot wash/ tumble dry everything so I’d get an inexpensive care home wardrobe. Markies elasticated waist trousers seem to survive.

The ONLY things my Mum was interested in when she went into a care home were her photographs and a couple of particularly precious pieces of jewellery. I took in about 15 of her framed photos and put them in her room before she left hospital, and also took in her clothes, toiletries etc beforehand so everything would be ready for her when she arrived. The care home she went to did all their own labelling, and had a machine that labelled everything in a about half an hour. I also made sure that she had a couple of plants and took fresh flowers every time I visited.

The dementia nurse specialist completed a This is Me form with me when my mum was first admitted to hospital and that went to the care home when she was eventually discharged. It was a really helpful document, with lots of background information about Mum's life, her likes and dislikes in terms of food, family information, and it even included a couple of photos.

but please don’t buy things they wouldn’t normally wear. Clothes are an important sense of self. Bad enough being in a room you don’t recognise with pillowcases that aren’t yours, even worse to be dressed in unfamiliar clothes.

Teeth were our biggest issue Permanent marker on the inside of front teeth? Or even engraving?