End of Life but suddenly perked up

[Rattysparklebum]

DF has dementia, hasn’t really been eating or drinking for around 2 weeks and lost all mobility, he was moved from his care home to hospital 5 days ago as he had an infection and poor stats.

Dad has been on IV antibiotics and fluids, has been almost comatose in hospital and not responded to treatment so today it was agreed he would move to end of life care and his drips have been removed.

I have been visiting everyday and this evening he was sitting up and talking more lucidly than he has for around 6 weeks, I’m really concerned that we made the end of life decision too fast, has anyone any experience of similar at the end?

Perfect way to describe it. Happened to my grandad. I was so grateful to have whitenesses it for the couple of days x
Handhold xx

Yes , as you can hear it is very common. And I too worried that I had done the wrong thing . It is rather cruel as it does give families false hope that recovery is possible . Be at peace with his situation and take care.

Sending you lots of love. I lost both my mum and dad in the last few months.
Tell him how much you love him.
I told my dad what a great man he was and how respected he was. That I appreciated all he had done for us as a family. That mum would be looked after well and that he had lived a life well.
Unfortunately he was unresponsive due to a massive stroke, but I take comfort that I was able to say these words to him.

There is a theory (unproven) about this, that when our body is near the end, and blood vessels die off and start to break down, they can release a chemical signal or hormone that gives a temporary surge of energy.

Unfortunately for the family it can be very emotional and confusing as they start to think their loved on is getting better, but that's not usually the case.

I'm sorry OP, I hope you and your family are doing ok.

This is interesting. DMIL was bluelighted to hospital from a care home that refused to do end of life care and was resuscitated, despite a DNAR form and specific instructions in her PoA. She was semi-conscious, not eating etc for several days and then SIL went in to visit and found her sitting up in bed chatting and drinking a cup of tea. Staff said she had made such a good recovery that she would be able to go home in a couple of days, which surprised us all.

Needless to say, the improvement was not sustained and she died just over a week later

This is a thing. I have a family member going through this at the moment, he hasn't eaten or drank in ages but now he is chatting and looking for whiskey. I was chatting to a friend earlier and she said her dad was the same before he died, he drank a whole pint of Guinness. My mum calls it 'biseach an bháis', which literally translates as 'the recovery of death'.

I hope you're doing ok op.

Hope you are getting on ok OP.

Similar happened to my elderly relative. She was declared end of life and no more treatment. Was immobile, virtually unconscious/asleep all the time, Cheyne-stokes breathing. Then woke up, and started eating and drinking again. But mentally was very agitated, seeing long dead siblings and other hallucinations, animals and birds in her room, worried she was having to move house, worrying about who was looking after her parents…was really tough as previously shed been very with it despite being late 90’s.
After about 10 days of agitation, she pretty much went back to sleep again and died about three weeks later. Amazing a body can hang on so long not eating or drinking really.
The GP said she must have the heart of an Ox which is ironic as her only medication was for heart arrythmia.

I’m sorry that you are going through this. It’s both a blessing and a cruel trick and is so common.
Tell him that you love him and make sure that you have support.

Oh poor OP.

This sounds like terminal lucidity and is common just before the end.

Sending love and hugs your way 💐

Unfortunately it is likely to be a surge. I looked after a lady who went from almost comatose to demanding porridge and her wrist watch. She died the next day.

It also happened to my father and it was rather lovely in retrospect.

However, whatever happens I think you have to let go of any idea that you're responsible for his EOL pathway and this might mean he dies 'too soon'. This is not hastening death so much as not prolonging it. I feel very strongly that we need to have a conversation as a society about letting people go more quickly and humanely. I had to work hard to let my father be allowed to die at home, as he wished, when yet another round of i/v antibiotics, feeding tubes, sorting out the aspiration etc might have given him a few more weeks of miserable time in hospital.

I noticed that Chris Whitty said something similar recently - that we need to be more realistic about the value of treatments at this point.

I really hope you can enjoy what time you have with him and that you will feel able to celebrate his life when he goes. Good luck.

Chris Whitty was spot on:

England’s chief medical officer, Prof Chris Whitty, has called for a cultural shift in medicine away from maximising lifespan and towards improving quality of life in old age, arguing that sometimes this means “less medicine, not more”.
Speaking before the publication of his 2023 annual report, which this year focuses on health in an ageing society, Whitty said doctors needed to have more realistic conversations with patients about the risk of some treatments extending life at the expense of quality of life and independence.
“Modern medicine is amazing at keeping people alive and extending life … and this for some people is exactly the right thing to do,” he said. “But I think the question should be what do people want themselves, and, particularly if treatments have significant side-effects, you’re always going to have a trade-off.”

My DH did this our days before he died.He had been ill or many years with severe heart disease, had many emergency admissions to hospital but always seemed to recover quickly and go home after 2-3 days.
The last time
he did not recover quickly, and lapsed into semi comatose state or two weeks, I was told he would recover but I was prepared for it happening.
One day I went in to see him, and the nurse in charge told me he had suddenly perked up and would be able to go home after the usual paper work was sorted.
I went into the ward to see him, found him sitting bolt upright in bed and talking lucidly and seemed back to normal mentally.I told him he would be going home soon and he stared at me as I I was mad.He told me quite plainly that he would never go home, as he had nearly died this time and felt he was still very close to death .This was the first time he had mentioned the word in all the years he had been ill.I remember saying goodbye to him and would be seeing him the net day.He did not answer, and also did not try to get out of bed like he did on previous occasions and try to follow me outside.
The net day my son and one of our grandchildren were getting ready to visit him with me when the ward rang to say come in now as his condition had deteriorated again and he had stopped responding to treatment..
He was moved to a single room as I expressed a wish to remain with him and a bed was put in for me.The priest came and anointed him and he died three days later, while deeply unconscious.
I like to think that quick ''recovery'' was his way of saying goodbye as he knew he had stopped fighting the illness and was ready to go to Our Lord.

Sorry or the typos I am getting tired now.