Calling fellow cockroach cafe … um graduates? Going through probate- advice and support thread

[thesandwich]

Hello all, wondered if any of the cockroach clan now sadly dealing with the sadmin would welcome a thread for support dealing with probate/ house sales and all other joys?
id welcome any recommendations re executor accounts at banks etc?

Thanks for starting this thread thesandwich and sorry for your loss. I’m still in the Cockroach cafe with DM but I was an executor for DF three years ago. Everything went to Mum and was under the IHT levels so we didn’t need probate and it was quite straightforward. I’ve still to finish sorting DF’s clothes though and there’s a likelihood that DM will need to go into residential care at some point so likely the house will need to be cleared and sold.

Anyway, my question - their house was owned jointly and is not registered with the land registry (hasn’t been sold in the last 30 or so years) so I need to think about getting this done in case we need to sell don’t I? Has anyone done it?

I’m in exactly the same position and had a thread in legal recently on this very question. I also spoke to a local solicitor.

The key question is, do you know where the deeds are? I tracked mums down to the central archive of the building society that took over the building society from the original mortgage. If you know where they are then you’re fine. Any subsequent sale will proceed on the old paper based process, and the new owner will have to register with the Land Registry. You will need an experienced solicitor, and so will your buyers. The solicitor I spoke to was old school and he said the reason people think the registration needs to happen before sale is that many newly qualified solicitors don’t know how to do the old paper based sales these days. And they insist the vendors do all the work first. But it’s not a legal requirement at all.

The other reason my solicitor was lukewarm about the idea of proactively registering the property is that there is currently a one year backlog at the Land Registry which would hold you up making a sale if you tried to market the property while it’s still ongoing, but a one year process post sale would not impact the new owners at all.

Oh and there was no concern about mum selling the house after dad died, as we have a clear set of marriage and death certificate and wills etc.

Good to see more familiar names(sadly)
no advice re land registry sorry.
plugging away here- arranged to see local firm of solicitors to get certified copies of mums will- really helpful solicitor gave great advice( and sorted copies) for £10 each…
Having fun trying to unravel a trust fund where the original solicitor trustees were taken over…. They can find a will, but no other docs…. Aviva being v helpful.

@funnelfan thank you! That’s brilliant. I’m 99% sure the deeds are with a local firm of solicitors as I remember DF getting them from the bank when they paid off the mortgage and showing them to me before he took them to the solicitors. I was a teenager at the time and the solicitors have been taken over by a larger firm now but I was in contact with them for a certified copy of his will three years ago.
I may give them a ring but it sounds like it’s one less thing to worry about.

@BestIsWest obviously IANAL, but hopefully what I was told will give you the right questions to ask your own solicitor.

I had to double take as I could have written your post even down to still having DFs clothes to sort three years on. I think I’m going to wait now until we have to do mums, as she gets unsettled when we do things around the house.

@funnelfan how strange! Mum is the same, she couldn’t look at DFs clothes without crying. I’ve taken some to the charity shop but there’s still a wardrobe unopened.

@BestIsWest I’ve at least opened ours to get an idea of the scale of the issue. There’s a lot of brand new item of men’s clothing, still in bags and with tags on. Mum bought new clothes for dad but he was never bothered and preferred to wear ones he’d “worn in” and were comfortable. Some charity shop is going to do quite well out of it eventually, as v-necked M&S men’s jumpers don’t go out of fashion with that generation!

Ah yes, the M&S jumpers, Dad had many! I need to clear their spare room before I can reach the wardrobe as Mum uses it as a dumping ground. He also had a million ties - sporting ones that he used to collect. I can’t quite bear to chuck them but who wears ties these days?

Dad wore ties for work as part of his uniform, but the same ones over and over, and most of the ones I've kept I have memories and/or photos with him wearing them, especially the one he wore when he walked me down the aisle at my wedding. I've seen that some people incorporate them into memory quilts or other fabric items, so I've kept them with the intention of doing something with them. If I don't - well a dozen or so ties don't take up much room. They do span over 50 years, so a variety of fabrics and tie shapes and lengths, depending on the fashions of the time.

I've not got any problems getting rid of his clothes, but I've got half a dozen pairs of his old glasses that mum asked me to take to any opticians that still collect them for charity, and I can't bring myself to do that yet.

How is everyone doing? I’ve applied for probate, now starting clearing dms house.. support from siblings us… um…. Minimal……..

I had teddy bears made out of items of Mum and Dad's clothes after they died, and also have a couple of cushions made out of one of Dad's jumpers.

That’s really lovely @FluffyFluffyClouds

Four months since handing over to solicitor we don't have any feedback other than I can no longer see my DM's bank details online, so assume the account is being discussed between Bank and solicitor.

It's nearly a year since DM died, and I'm hopefully at the last stage of sorting her finances. To be fair, it's only taken this long because I have dragged it out due to being uncomfortable about doing it.

NS&I (premium bonds) are going back and forth with me which is painful, but hopefully once this is done that will be it.

I had 'the dream' the other night where she was sat in her armchair I was trying to sort the stuff in the sideboard while she was getting upset. Doesn't take too much analysis to work out what my subconscious is doing!

Had a big fall out with some family over the will, which seems to be quite common at least amongst my friendship group.

Oh dear, what's the premium bond problem @notaflyingmonkey I'm aware I'll have to deal with potentially three lots of them at some point in the future!

I submitted the notification of death using the 'tell us once' system, which they say didn't work for them. So I went through their bereavement team, emailed the death cert etc as requested. Weeks later they wrote to me asking me to post the cert, which I did. Then weeks later they wrote asking me to write back to them with something else, etc. I think their biggest problem is that they appear to operate old school systems.

After I sold mum's house to pay for the nursing home fees, I placed her money in different banks etc so that each pot was under the £85k liability ceiling. This proved to be a massive pain to sort after her death as I had to go though this with each. I get of course that they are trying to minimise risk, but it is a lot to deal with when bereaved.

Good to see some old friends- sorry this stuff is causing issues- and @notaflyingmonkey sorry to hear there are fall out re will.
plodding on here, waiting for probate to be granted, house almost ready to go on sale, and still a pile of the emotional stuff to sort and share out.
plus trying to progress a trust fund which the original solicitor now merged can’t locate…..
much sympathy to all.

Mine is obsessed with the £85k limit
thing and spent ages shifting money around to maximise interest and reduce the risk. And then going all martyrish about how much work this is!

It's going to be a total nightmare to sort out when the time comes although I am very tempted to hand it over to a solicitor and let them deal with it.

Thank you for this thread, I fear I will be needing this in a few weeks. I'm not experienced or ready for this at all.

I will need to apply for probate, before selling Mum's house. What will happen to her normal monthly bills and direct debits? She currently has a normal current account just in her name. Will they stop, and will I have to pay these direct debits, as her executor?

@HotelNotPortofino sorry you are in this situation.
Firstly, sorry if what I’m about to say sounds a little bit brutal and possibly controversial.
Currently while DM is still alive, you may still have access to her bank account if she has previously given permission to help with online banking etc.
Things change when she passes.
As soon as she passes you cannot access her account. You must present yourself to the bank in your new role as her Executor and they check your status and paperwork. Normally this is done via a face to face appointment.

We waited six weeks or so before we got around to this for my DF. We didn’t rush to tell the bank because we knew all household bills were on direct debit and that his account was several thousand in credit.
Right now if you can access her account online, I’d check what she has on direct debits. If you are able - I’d prioritise a chat with your siblings and tell them you are doing this. Be very transparent and keep meticulous records. Then, if everyone is on the same page, and she has sufficient funds, I would have a discussion with them that you withdraw a small ‘float’ to cover the bills not on account while you are in state of flux.
Once she passes you have to register the death and get (many) copies of her death certificate. It’s perfectly normal to get 10 copies so there’s £100.
With a float you can easily cover off these expenses but keep receipts to keep yourself right.

Thank you so much @Mum5net , that's really useful. I don't have access to her account at the moment (although I do have POA), but she would be willing to transfer some funds while she is able. She is incredibly pragmatic about this wretched situation.

You may not even need to 'deliberately' delay a meeting with the bank - we found recently it was a 7 week wait for a face-to-face appointment anyway!

Well, house gone on the market today…. Everything crossed….

@h0rsewithn0name how are things?