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Elderly parents

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2 replies

FlatOutAgain · 14/06/2023 15:06

Hi all, its been a while since I posted, mostly due to being snowed under with everything with mum and dad.
It took several months to get the DST which unfortunately we were unsuccessful with. Mum has continued to go downhill and the DST was a charade.
She only needed to score High on behaviour given she already had a high and several moderates. We were utterly convinced it was severe. The nurses spoke and said High, the OPMH pschyciatrist said High, we said severe. The social worker who was on her first DST said moderate and the coordinator, who has not seen mum, said I agree with the social worker its moderate. What! the professionals who work with her were ignored.
We are going to appeal but in the meantime mum has to be moved. It will be a complete and utter 'shit show' and mum will become violent again, after finally settling down.
So here is the rub: The social worker scored moderate on behaviour, we absolutely have no idea why, and now they have to find mum another home. They can't of course find one because of her behaviour so only 2 homes will take her. The social worker said its because she has high needs WTF!
Here is my question: Both homes are unsuitable due to distance, and it would mean mum is isolated as we could only afford to go, at best, once a week.
The social worker is saying they are doing their best for mum...no your'e not you are just trying to get this off your books and we only have two very poor choices so how is that the best.
Q: can we refuse the homes based on mum being effectively abandoned as we cannot get to see her very often and dad can't see her at all unless we take him. We have told them quite clearly that we do not want this to happen and it is cruel.

Any insights would be very welcome.

Thank you

OP posts:
thesandwich · 14/06/2023 22:11

Bumping for you

FlatOutAgain · 15/06/2023 13:13

@thesandwich thank you

I have been in-touch with parents local MP who put me onto the social services councillor who passed it to the Director of Wellbeing. They will look into the case

Also just found out that on the completed DST form the coordinator has changed the results of the voting for behaviour. I have been in-touch with 2 of the other participants who voted 'high' to ask them to confirm this was the case. The coordinator has changed it to moderate. If they can remember or even if only one can remember then we have 100% grounds for a very strong appeal as the DST was ratified based on false information.
Fingers crossed that one of the two remembers

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