Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Discharge

41 replies

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 17:48

Hi , I’ve just had such a shock my dad is currently in hospital after a stroke , I’ve just phoned to see how he is and he’s being discharged to rehab tomorrow
Nobody has phoned me to notify me the rehab is quite far , I spoke to the physio this morning and she mentioned this particular rehab , I told her if was too far but it seems they are moving him tomorrow

I’ve had no family meeting with the hospital or anything can they just do this ?

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 01/06/2023 17:53

Yes they can do this. Unfortunately rehab units tend to be few and far between so you don't get the option of somewhere nearer. They won't keep him in the hospital as they need the bed for the next person needing stroke care.

It would have been helpful for them to let you know earlier that they were aiming to get him to rehab all along and where it is.

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 18:17

Thankyou for your reply AnnaMagnani. I am so irate that nobody phoned to tell me that my dad was being discharged tomorrow
it was just by chance that my sister phoned the ward for visiting times to be told that he was being sent to rehab tomorrow

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 01/06/2023 19:17

Not surprised you are angry, the ward would have been planning this for days or even weeks

fuckmyuteruslining · 01/06/2023 19:33

They may have planned him for rehab for some time but beds usually come up at relatively short notice. This is a positive step. Hospital is a dangerous place for somebody like him. He needs to get to rehab and then to home or care if needed.

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 20:08

Thankyou for your kind replies , I am very angry with not being given an update . The communication is non existent but overall I have to say the nurses are so lovely to my dad & very kind .
I agree that hospitals are the worst places to be big this has come as a sudden shock which I didn’t know about .

OP posts:
Gryffindoratheart · 01/06/2023 20:10

Who is listed as your dads next of kin? Hospitals tend to only let one person know and expect them to pass it on.

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 20:39

I’m the next of kin Gryffindoratheart they really don’t have an excuse not to have kept me informed

OP posts:
Gryffindoratheart · 01/06/2023 20:43

Yeah that's unacceptable that they haven't kept you updated if your the NOK.

Rehab hospitals are great for people like your dad, so it's a really positive thing he's going but I'm sorry that the communication with you has been shit.

Hope your dad is recovering well!

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 20:46

Thankyou Gryffindoratheart, my dad seems ok on himself it’s just his mobility that’s not good
I’m going to the hospital in the morning face to face to speak to them

OP posts:
Louisetopaz21 · 01/06/2023 20:57

Sadly there is no such thing as next of kin in law but good practice is they communicate with all interested parties. I wish you and your family luck.

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 21:01

Thankyou Louisetopaz21, I’m just so drained with the worry at the moment

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 01/06/2023 21:06

Out of interest, what did you think was going to happen to him once he was medically well?
The problem is, the hospitals are so poorly staffed at the moment that nurses struggle to take care of the patients let alone phone relatives up regularly. You did say they’ve been lovely with him. It may well have been that the bed in rehab only came up today and the hospital didn’t have time to phone you before you phoned them. Rehab really is the best place for him to be. People can go downhill when they’re unnecessarily stuck on a hospital ward.
If he’s been discharged when you get there tomorrow, then staff won’t be able to discuss him with you - they’ll be too busy looking after someone else’s I’ll relative.
If you really want to complain, contact PALS.

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 21:57

I will be going to pals tomorrow. How can an elderly person with no family be sent to a rehab miles away which means he won’t get many visitors that’s not in my dads best interests

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 01/06/2023 22:02

Sadly, beds in rehab are as rare as hens teeth at the moment. Once he’s there, you can look at getting him nearer to home. They won’t keep him in hospital just because it’ll be difficult for you to visit him.

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 22:11

I don’t think there will be much choice as it’s all to with catchment .
I know that the nhs is stretched & under staffed they do a fantastic job which I appreciate
I’ve seen a lot of patients come and go on my dads ward .
However that’s no excuse for not communicating with someone’s next of kin to discuss discharge and plan of actions .
I could have gone up there tomorrow and he would have been gone we only found out by chance .

OP posts:
fuckmyuteruslining · 02/06/2023 08:07

It sounds like he's got capacity to make decisions about his care? It's possible they've spoken to him about the plan, he's agreed and given the impression you would be ok with it? You would normally only organise a meeting with relatives if there are questions about what's in the best interests of the patient and they can't decide that themselves. I agree more notice would be helpful.

flyingtherag · 02/06/2023 08:11

Hi. Sorry you're upset but honestly a rehab bed will be the best place for him if he's medically fit.

Communication is the biggest reason for complaints so definitely speak with PALS.

As for visiting- it shouldn't be for too long so hopefully it'll be worth it.

MichelleScarn · 02/06/2023 08:41

Did your dad know he was going to rehab and if so when was he told? Are you in contact with him outwith visiting? Like pp am assuming he does have capacity?

JussathoB · 02/06/2023 09:00

Scoobydo87 · 01/06/2023 22:11

I don’t think there will be much choice as it’s all to with catchment .
I know that the nhs is stretched & under staffed they do a fantastic job which I appreciate
I’ve seen a lot of patients come and go on my dads ward .
However that’s no excuse for not communicating with someone’s next of kin to discuss discharge and plan of actions .
I could have gone up there tomorrow and he would have been gone we only found out by chance .

It’s a worrying time when someone you love is unwell and in hospital/needing treatment. You can’t control everything, and that’s hard when you are trying to look out for your loved one.
But the rehab place might be absolutely the best place for your DF to get treatment and support to get back on his feet. Isn’t that the most important thing right now? Think twice about obstructing what might be a very beneficial step in his recovery.

AnnaMagnani · 02/06/2023 09:23

If your dad knew and he has capacity, the team will assume he will let people know if hewants.

MereDintofPandiculation · 02/06/2023 09:30

It sounds like the choice is between:

a) rehab and difficulty of visiting

b) easy visiting and no effective rehab

WhutWhutWhut · 02/06/2023 09:44

fuckmyuteruslining · 01/06/2023 19:33

They may have planned him for rehab for some time but beds usually come up at relatively short notice. This is a positive step. Hospital is a dangerous place for somebody like him. He needs to get to rehab and then to home or care if needed.

This!
We can literally be told there's a bed and if it's needed pt has to go asap or someone else will get it.
If they told your DF then why didn't he tell you?
If he has capacity to Rehab then surely he will have been told?
Your DS phoned and was told,no doubt they were about to phone but she got there first .

Be grateful, they are like hens teeth atm.

EmotionalBlackmail · 02/06/2023 11:06

When my Mum was in we had no direct contact with the hospital? She had capacity so all updates came from her directly?

Scoobydo87 · 02/06/2023 18:28

Hi , my dad is very quiet man always has been & doesn’t think it necessary to update us
A man in the next bed told me that he had a good physio session last Sunday 🤔

OP posts:
Bababear987 · 02/06/2023 19:32

If your dad has capacity the nurses wouldn't necessarily expect they need to inform you unless your dad is physically unable to or asked them specifically to.

They also could have only found out 10mins before your sister phoned and would've checked with your dad eventually if he had told family prior to the move and then phoned you at that point. I know its hard to understand but these placements come and people are usually transferred the same or next day and if not they lose their place as theres 20 others waiting on it.

I know it's frustrating re the visiting but its not really big picture thinking, the most important thing is him getting the rehab asap. Days or weeks of lingering in hospital can be very hard to recover from.