Give me your experience of guardianship of an elderly parent, please.

[Justmuddlingalong]

Mum's been deemed to no longer have capacity and is currently in hospital.
Social work have been in contact regarding me applying for guardianship (in Scotland). We are no contact, as is my sibling. I'm just looking for experiences of applying for and running a guardianship from anyone with experience.
I'm trying to weigh up whether to do it myself or just hand over all responsibility to the local authority.
I understand that not everybody will understand how I can be so detached from her, but it's a long and emotional story that I don't think is relevant, IYKWIM.

My experience is different, but I'd say leave it to the local authority.

When my mum ran out of money to pay her care home fees, the local authority insisted on moving her to an extra care flat with carers operating from the building. However they said that she would also need occasional family input. Initially my brother and I refused. It was a totally inappropriate placement, and that's a history behind why we did not want to be involved. But they moved her and after a series of issues that we felt unable to ignore, we (primarily my brother, who lives locally) ended up having to do weekly visits to address needs not being met by the care company. And we're constantly getting phone calls from the carers.

If you're guardian, you will find that you're being involved more and more as time goes on. Really we should have washed our hands of things at the start and walked away. If she had no children, the LA would have had to deal with it all.

You can say no and let the LA deal with it. They have the experience and do it for people who have no family. You are no contact for a reason, you can remain that way if you want to.

Also Scotland. I'd have no hesitation in passing it over to SW in your shoes. I ran it for my DM for almost eight years, and while I was happy to do it, I was really cross she never granted POA, and every year, when I had to do stuff I can't lie, I was enormously resentful as it was all so unnecessary, copying bank statements, totalling care fees versus pension etc etc and involved the OPG approving what we had done and them being paid £££ to check it over.
If you do it on your own, the setting up is quite complicated but you are guided by a solicitor and SW. You appoint a solicitor of your choosing. You may qualify for legal aid. We did, but our legal bill was still about £500. Several reports need to be submitted on a 28 day time line to court. Processes will be documented on the OPG website.
It took us about 7 months and that was prior to Covid. Annually we had to apply for a bond of caution and submit her accounts. You just need to account for any spending of over £100 but in the end you have to count o the nearest £1 as it all has to balance.
Genuinely, walk away.

Forgot to say the OPG website is very 'clunky' and its online forms positively archaic. It's painful to deal with.

I had LPA for my parents, and I'd say that in your situation I would have walked away and left it to social services.
Being responsible for someones life is a million decisions and actions, even if they are in full time care - buying pants, calls from the hospital, requests for meetings with social work, and more and more. Let someone else have the legal responsibility and then if you so choose you could make the odd visit or ring the home to see how she is, but staying firmly within the boundaries you have clearly had to set for your own sanity

@Justmuddlingalong has there been a discharge planning meeting? There should be what they call an AWI (adults with incapacity) meeting to check all agree she'll permanently lack capacity. Absolutely if you are NC let the local authority take on Guardianship, this doesn't mean you cannot still be involved in decision making. As @Mum5net says, it's arduous and time consuming!

If you're NC this is not a recipe for happiness or reconciliation - just a massive responsibility with little joy.
If you can avoid it, I would.

Avoid if you're NC with her.
I had guardianship of my Dad after the unexpected death of my brother, who had POA. It was welfare and financial guardianship and whilst Dad was a dream "client" with few assets and a wonderful care team looking after him, it's a massive responsibility. It qualified for legal aid but the application for legal aid cost £900 - Dad's vast wealth amounted to £200 in his bank plus his monthly pensions. It of course had to be paid by me. I loved my Dad dearly but it was really really tough to do and he was an easy going, happy chap.

Honestly, tell the LA they need to take over, you are under no obligation and it sounds like it would be a difficult thing for you to do.

Thanks everyone.
I've decided that I'm going to leave it to the local authority.
My sibling is totally in agreement.
She's still in hospital but deemed unsafe to return home, the social worker has been in contact and after visiting her today he's going to phone me.
I just don't want to get sucked back into having to deal with her, so it looks like letting others deal with her will save my sanity. Thanks again all for your opinions.

Your choice, but I left it to the local authority. I’d always had a difficult relationship with my dad. His slow decline was the last straw for many reasons. Yes, I felt guilt but it was better than the alternative which was making me ill and threatening my marriage. You have to put yourself first in whichever way that works best for you. It’s a horribly difficult decision 💐

Wee update.
The local authority have accepted responsibility for a welfare guardianship. But they don't do financial guardianships, so I've to see a solicitor to put one in place. I've been assured that contact with her is not required, which I hope is true.
Hope I don't come to regret agreeing to it. 😱

Annoying OP. I can reassure you that contact with her won't be required. Your solicitor can take all the organising on board for the application. The solicitor will need a payment over and above legal aid though, so keep an eye out for a cost involved as that will need to be funded from somewhere. Hopefully, your DM will have funds to cover.