Care system in the UK- what can be expected?

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I would be grateful for some insight into the care system in the UK to advise my mother regarding my dad.
They went on holiday to their country of birth, and my 85yr old dad (who was already very frail) had a bad accident, ended up with having to have brain surgery. This was back in Feb. Amazingly he survived surgery but his recovery is now plataued I would say, and he needs a full time carer 24/7, can hardly speak and is not that great with his mental capacity. Currently they are paying around £25 a day for a full time carer and have nice accommodation, warm weather and they are in a place they like.
But my mother is adamant that they must return to the UK and see if he can improve his condition after been seeing by the NHS. I think she is deluded in what can be done for him now and the trip back will strain his health. They have assets, so I guess they will have to pay for care, much more than what they are paying now. My mother who is nearly 80 says she can look after him, but I really don't think so, as even when she was much younger she wasn't very good at taking care of anybody. I think she is making a serious error thinking of coming back to the UK.
Even not considering the money, I doubt that there are carers that can step in right away when they are back in the UK. I assume that assessments will have to be done, waiting times etc. And my mum will have to care for him in the interim.
I have a full time job, two kids, and I can't provide the level of care that he needs.

If anyone has recently had experience of care system, please may you advise, what would likely to happen if they come over here?

Care can be sorted very quickly, so that’s not an argument you can use.

LA arranged care is unlikely to be for more than 4 half hour visits a day, more than that and residential care is cheaper for them. Private care is a possibility but we have a great shortage of carers at the moment.

Residential care is from about £1000 per week upwards.

Depending where you live in the UK it can take a long time to get a local authority assessment for care. Once it's done, the maximum on offer is 4 half hour visits per day, which in reality are more like 15 minutes, as it includes the carer writing a report and hurrying to their next appointment. Carers change regularly as working conditions are not good, so there is little continuity. Getting in private carers can be better, but will cost many times more than they are currently paying.
If things are going well where they are I would encourage them to stay put.

The care system in the UK is utterly broken and often of very poor quality. Likewise, the NHS is a shit-show.

Private care facilities are very very expensive. Think over 1000 quid a week.

Your parents may well be much better off staying put.

My 90 year old in June MIL is physically incapacitated after a series of strokes and falls and doubly incontinent. Still of sound mind. Refuses a care facility. She is “entitled” to two, 15 minute visits each day. She has an adapted bathroom but the visits do not allow time for use so she showers maybe twice each month (which has resulted in repeat UTIs and hospital admissions).

Honestly, if your father is receiving satisfactory 24/7 care where they are, I would stay there (their country of origin?). You say finance isn’t an issue but it will very quickly be eaten up in the UK. I promise you, your parents really don’t want to end up relying on sub-standard state care, which is only going to get worse.

Thanks for your replies and really appreciated. Yes, it's their country of origin. Feel like my mum is taking a gamble coming back, but she is determined to.

Depending where you live in the UK it can take a long time to get a local authority assessment for care Depends whether they deem it an emergency. If person is beng looked after OK by family, it will take a long time, if person is clearly not being looked after, it can be very quick.

Where do they have right of residence and right to have state care? If they have those rights in their home country, they can always move back again if you are unable to change their minds.

They have dual citizenship, so eligible in both countries. Their travel insurance have been paying for private medical care.

Depends whether they deem it an emergency. If person is beng looked after OK by family, it will take a long time, if person is clearly not being looked after, it can be very quick

This is what I'm worried about. If he is being looked after by my mother, then it would be an emergency because she is unable to look after him properly, she is expecting other people to pitch in. I'm not prepared to do personal care for my father (sorry if I seem cold hearted), which could carry on for years potentially, and do other things, beyond preparing some food once in a while and giving them lifts to hospital appointments etc. I don't want to end up as a carer, I have a full time job, so does DH and I have 2 kids.

They should stay where they are. My mum's care is costing 2 grand a week.

If your DM is adamant it’s going to be hard to change her mind. But some questions for her to consider from my own experience as a carer:

If he falls, can she get him upright?
Do you have a level access, walk in shower on the same floor as the bathroom?
Can you fit rails near the toilet to help him get up and down?
Is there room for a hospital style bed and hoist?
Do you have a spare room for a live in carer (if you can afford it)?
Can he be left alone?
How far are you from a hospital?
Can she get him in and out of a car?
Can she get him in and out of a wheelchair?
Can she push a wheel chair (flat might be OK, but up hill or managing the weight down hill?

Visiting carers - even private ones - will turn up at inconvenient times. Interrupting meals, meaning the person caring can’t have a shower as they need to wait for the carer to arrive, can’t nip to the corner shop etc.

meaning the person caring can’t have a shower as they need to wait for the carer to arrive, can’t nip to the corner shop etc. though they could do the same as for someone living alone - use a key safe and let themselves in

By UK do you mean England? System is different in each county within the UK.

My old stuck record routine now - does your Mum have LPA in Health and Welfare for your Dad? If not, does he have mental capacity to grant it? Would it be legally admissable in their country of birth - they're still UK citizens, right?

Otherwise, frankly I'm not sure it's in the famliy's hands. They can return but if she isn't up to looking after him, the State will intervene and put him in a nursing home and it won't be less than £1.5K a week, and that they can increase as they see fit, you have no say in it. Social Services seem to have a cosy deal going on with some nursing homes and my experience with my parents is there is a 'fast-track' approach to the elderly in this condition - they try to move them on to the next phase, be it nursing home or death, they are proactive in this. It's all about money.

Money talks - but after a while you find they pretend not to understand the language. Two years is what most elderly get in a care home after they've moved in, after that I get the sense decisions are made behind the scenes to 'hurry things along' regardless of family savings. Regulators such as Care Quality Commission and Nurse & Midwifery are corrupt, I have found - but hide behind a veil of incompetence.

Should say, even if you do have LPA in Health and Welfare the State can take control - but it's a harder effort. Without it, they are the decision makers if your father lacks mental capacity - quite a vague area.

It sounds as if your parents would be far better off remaining where they are now.
Could you show some “tough love” to your mum and explain unequivocally that you will not be sharing in any care for your father if they do return?
(Even if you were prepared to help if push came to shove, it’s probably best if she doesn’t know that.)

Thanks for all your replies.

A lot has changed since the last time I posted.

They are back in England, and after 24hrs (in which I arranged a carer to come in for an hour in the evening and morning) my father had had 2 minor accidents, he banged his face on the side table whilst trying to get up from bed and also slid to the floor whilst sitting). It was clear that he needs 24/7 care. My mother downplayed his condition, but anyway, we had to take him to A&E and now he's been in hospital for the last 2 weeks. Not sure what's going to happen next, apparently he might be transferred to a different hospital for possible rehabilitation. At the age of nearly 86yrs old, and completely dependant, I'm not sure how much can be rehabilitated.
I have fallen out with my mother because she is insufferable, piling on the guilt "you should be looking after us, so sad that we have created a daughter who thinks it's not her responsibility to look after her elderly parents" etc etc etc. I'm an only chid, with a full time job and 2 kids and been going to the hospital almost everyday to see my father, it is exhausting, but I do want to go, so I'm not just doing it out of duty, but my mum is just incredibly deluded, I'm not on speaking terms with her, just messages about my father's condition etc.

If your parents have savings in excess of £46,500 then your dad will be deemed to be a self funder.

Live in care costs around £1000 per week. If your parents have a lot of money, they could go down this route. I wouldn't advise it though. It will be very difficult for your mum and potentially your dad to live with another person in their home. Also the live in carer should be given a 2 hour break each day.

If they haven't got savings/high income then the LA will fund the care but it may not be a care home and certainly won't be 24 hour live in care.

Are your family from India? Its just that your story is similar to a friends. Massive guilt trip and stupid decisions made that actually always result in friend having to 'help'.

Does your Mum know this decision of her's will cost them £££ or in some sneaky way has she come back to the UK so that YOU can do it? Sorry. Its just that this all rings so true.

Ah op, I don't have any experience or knowledge but just wanted to say that your posts touched me and I hope you're ok.

Well done for staying strong and doing what needs to be done for you and your family unit. Guilt trips are horrendous. 💐

Live in care costs double or even triple that depending on how much care you need during the night

Thanks for update & sorry to read how stressful it all is.
"This too shall pass?"

You could do the guilt trip back. If he stays in this situation it does look like he's going to be on the wrong side of the grass before too long, and/or your inheritance will run out.
Does she think that if he goes in the UK she'll be able to stay in the UK while otherwise she may not? Is that a factor?
In A&E you get all the tests don't get me wrong, it would cost thousands in the States, but ultimately the UK is run on a budget and as with budget airlines, don't expect grace and favour, don't expect extras. If you cost money, they throw you under a bus. If you have money, okay, but it will be used to subsidise Council-funded care home residents to the tune of several hundred pounds a week. And even then, the elderly cost money in pensions and prescriptions - their death makes for a nice windfall inheritance tax.

Except when the carer arrives wanting to toilet and shower the patient then the bathroom is in use, so it’s not the same as living alone. Many houses only have one bathroom.

@Tracker1234 not far from India! Yes there is a cultural expectation. Although not that common in their friendship circles or my friends from that culture, the idea of multi-general houses and providing care for elderly parents. My mum seems to be stuck in the past and has very traditional ideas for a well educated woman.
@NewspaperTaxis she can stay in the UK regardless as she is a British citizen, so that's not a factor. I dont' like talking to my mum about inheritance as she doesn't divulge much and I don't want to seem money grabbing. However, she has said to me that she is happy to fritter away all the inheritance on care fees for my dad if needs be. It's their money, I guess.
@EmmaGrundyForPM I don't even know how much they have in savings, could be nothing or lots. They never tell me. Weird huh? Their living situation is complicated. They have a house worth over £500K in the outskirts of London, which they are renting out and they are renting a flat up here in the North. So, I guess, that would be taken into consideration for the financial assessment. My father's is not going to be able to go back to living with my mum in their one bedroom flat.
@booktokbear and @lljkk thanks for your well wishes, it really helps to be able to have an outlet to talk about this situation.