Argh I can't think of how to phrase this question

[NutellaEllaElla]

My dad has moderate dementia and is becoming increasingly frail. I think he needs to exercise regularly to build muscle to help him stand easier, balance better, walk more confidently etc. He used to exercise loads.

What do we need? He doesn't really need a personal trainer...does he? How do we find what we're looking for here?

Physiotherapy?

Agree a specialist physiotherapist, and perhaps a dietitian?

Physiotherapy. Ideally a male one.
And start sowing the seeds now of how good nutrition is like medicine. Nows the time to get into good habits about regular eating and hydration.

Lots of soft furnishings around, no unnecessary hard surfaces such as coffee tables and so on which he might fall on and do irreparable damage.

Otherwise, look at sit-down pedal exercise machines, the sort found on Amazon. A few 0.5kg dumb bells to do arm lifts in front of a mirror maybe.

There are falls prevention exercises classes in a lot of areas, which may be just the thing if he can follow instructions. In our area you do need to have had at least one fall to qualify.

Could you get a carer, someone who would act companion to take him for a walk a few times a week?

That is what we did for my Dad because it is not just about exercise but they get fresh air, it helps with sleep and sundowning. My Dad loves it.

I got my dad an assessment with a physiotherapist who gave him exercises to do. (in fact got two referrals, but the first one didn't seem to 'take' - my dad never followed up on the advice and exercises.)
The second one (privately paid for) seemed to give well-designed exercises with a video that he could follow at home. It was focused on balance as dad (early 80s) has become a bit wobbly.
He did the exercises for a while but then stopped. I think he would manage if somebody came in to do the exercises with him, but he's resisting a bit (plus, it's hard to find people to come in where he is).
If you parent could afford a physio referral, they might be able to advise on where to put the emphasis in the exercises (e.g. weight-bearing, or balance, or whatever).

My step sis was a geriatric PT. She literally specialised in old folks fitness.
My dad was sports crazy and always played something until his 60s...
Can step-sis persuade him to do exercise. Can she heck. She can tell him until she's blue in face about all the things he should be doing, where he is losing upper body strength, she has a zillion ideas, he wouldn't listen. He never had self-discipline for fitness, just a love of sports.

But he'll do the physio routine the doctor told him to. Involves little stationary bike & rehab exercises with bands. This was after surgery. It's funny if maddening.

Will he walk, or dance?

Occupational therapist?

God I love mumsnet, you lot are amazing!

@starpatch Thank you so much, I googled and found the perfect looking course in his local area!

He has been given exercises by a great (expensive) physio but he won't do anything unless he's heavily prompted. He's happy to walk and do exercises though, once he's encouraged throughout.

@BetterCare , how did you find a carer? I think someone like that would be great.

It may be worth asking for a referral via your gp to occy health to check your dad's home over and suggest/make adaptations to prevent falls. Also try to get him a falls alarm.

If you are new to the world of Carers then given your dad's dementia it would be a good idea to mug up on the care system.

Locally you might find a companion/"friend"/befriender via your local Age UK/Age Concern/Independent Age (google or via the national websites). Or a carer through a personal care agency.

When your dad starts needing personal care finances will kick in - it's worth working out now whether he will be self-funding or if the council will fund him. If he's self funded ask for local recommendations; if the council will fund him they will do most of the legwork for you but obviously there will be less choice.

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime I told my mum to ask the GP for a falls assessment and honestly the lady who came out (Mum didn't tell me her profession), it was like she'd never worked in older adults before. Dad told her he plays tennis weekly, plays cricket, has no difficulties with falls or mobility and she believed him!! It was bullshit. Mum followed her out and said it wasn't true but I guess it was too fecking late.

And the age old advice - ffs get him to grant you Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare while he still has some mental capacity if you haven't already, otherwise at a later stage you will have no power and little say over his wellbeing and neither will he. The Council will, in fact any State body i.e. NHS ward or private ward will over you.

Yeah we did that early on thank you. Many moons ago, I worked in a junior role in a memory clinic in a different area so unfortunately I know some things but still clueless about others and it's different when it's your own family too.

My local sports centres have a walking football group, aquafit for older or unwell people and MAGIC (movement and games in chairs). Maybe see if there is anything like that near you. Could be more! We're pretty rural and that's what's available at a couple of community lead village places. And DM (80) goes to old folks Tai Chi.

My friends dd is doing physiotherapy in college and in the Summers she works as a carer to elderly people. Families hire her as she does physio with them, takes them out walking and is generally very focused on their physical well being. Or get a social care student and give them instructions about what you want done each time. Good time to catch a student now coming up to holiday time.

Rehab exercises? Physio or community therapist/reablement team should be able to refer.

There are quite a few "Chair Exercise" classes, or "Yoga for retired folk" or Exercise for the over 55'' classes around where I live. It's probably worth asking on your local Facebook Community pages as they tend to be run by individual practitioners rather than National organisations.

Oh, and yes, it is quite normal for a paid carer to turn up with an older, or less physically able person.

Have you looked to see if there is any Methodist Homes 'Live at Home' schemes near you?
MHA