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Elderly parents

Care/nursing home procedure, how do I even start!

22 replies

Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 10:55

Parent in 90s with lung condition, was mobile with a frame but housebound with carers.
After a recent bout in hospital with an infection and stint in rehab is back home with carers who he had prior but now 4 times a day with 2, bed now downstairs. Carers fabulous but his quality of life isnt great sat in his chair all day between visits. He's always been a loner, likes being at home with the tv and paper.

I want to look into the option of care or nursing homes in case things progress but also I can discuss with parent the option as may be ok for him..he'll have 24 hour care and someone always there.
I dont even know where to start... owns his own home so Im guessing they will put a charge onto it and just £11k in bonds nothing else.

I have applied recently for LPOA for finance and health obvs takes months but it's been registered.

Where do I even start...by looking at care homes in the area?

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Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 13:57

Anyone? 😔

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Theeyeballsinthesky · 27/04/2023 14:04

The CQC will have a list of all the care homes in your area so you can get a list and start to look round

i assume he lives alone so yes he would be responsible for the care home fees. Age UK have excellent factsheets on this :)

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Theeyeballsinthesky · 27/04/2023 14:05

Find a care home - Care Quality Commission

https://www.cqc.org.uk/care-services/find-care-home

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Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 27/04/2023 14:07

Sorry you are going through this OP.

I used carehome.co.uk as a starting point for my DPs.

You will probably need a nursing home rather than a care home with his condition.

If he owns his own home you will be classified as a ‘self funder’ and Social Services won’t be interested. I am afraid that the 11k will last hardly any time (2-3 months max for a decent home, maybe less, depending on where you are in the country) so you will probably need to get the house on the market and the sale will need to go through before you can afford the fees - unless you can cover them yourself from savings until his house is sold.

Some care homes want you to demonstrate that you can cover 3 years fees, so is the house worth this much? Also, you need to ask them what happens when the money runs out, do they take council payments (the council step in when you have less than £23k or so left).

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Limetreee · 27/04/2023 14:15

Aww it’s so sad watching them isn’t it. My mum is 91 same amount of carers and very lonely. Have they expressed a wish to go into a care home ? I ask because my mum really does need to be in one but flatly refuses.
Even with LPOA you can’t put them in a home if there of sound mind. My mum has a bit of dementia so it’s just a matter of waiting until things get really bad, or she has an accident which is such a shame. Good luck

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Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 15:30

Nursing home yes. No def dont have any money. They'll have to put a charge on the house its prob worth £200k. All very sad and distressing for all.

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mycoffeecup · 27/04/2023 15:33

If he's safe at home (not in immediate danger) then social services/council won't get involved. You'll have to sell the house and pay yourself. At say £6k per month, if he has £200k left after the house sales, he'll run out of money within three years. Doubt the council will do the 'take a charge on the house' thing if he doesn't need the place. And if there was no social services assessment that he needs rather than wants that care, he may have to move home again. Sorry to be brutal.

This won't apply if his spouse still lives in the house.

are there any safety issues with his current care plan?

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Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 15:33

He does refuse at the mo but as time goes on I do think he'll come around.
Im going to start doing the legwork now in case

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Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 15:37

Lives on his own, care plan in place but I can see in time it prob wont be safe or adequant enough for him. I just dont know what to do or think.

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NecklessMumster · 27/04/2023 15:43

Look at Which guides and Age UK on 'how to choose a care home' Start visiting homes..the more you see the more you'll start to get an idea of what you like. Read CQC reports but keep an open mind, also word of mouth. If they don't want to go you can't make them and might cost the sane to have a live in carer but it's a good idea to start your research

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mycoffeecup · 27/04/2023 15:53

Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 15:37

Lives on his own, care plan in place but I can see in time it prob wont be safe or adequant enough for him. I just dont know what to do or think.

At the point where SS deem it to be unsafe they will offer a placement. They tend to take ages to do this. If you have reasons why you think he is unsafe then put them in writing. but it sounds as if at the moment it's a want rather than a need.....

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mycoffeecup · 27/04/2023 15:54

also a full-time live-in carer to supplement social services care and take him out etc would be something to consider

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Theeyeballsinthesky · 27/04/2023 16:40

Your local Age Uk is a good place to start OP. They can go through how it all works with you & hopefully demystify it so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming

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Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 18:09

Thank you everyone.

Yes I may give them a call or try and arrange some kind of meeting as all very overwhelming.

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Theeyeballsinthesky · 27/04/2023 18:11

Longingforthesummer · 27/04/2023 18:09

Thank you everyone.

Yes I may give them a call or try and arrange some kind of meeting as all very overwhelming.

I think that would really help 😊 just being able to talk it through will make a huge difference

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Oldermum84 · 27/04/2023 18:33

Approach your local adult social care team. If he has under £23,250 in savings he'll be eligible for a 12 week disregard. Which means the property is disregarded for the first 12 weeks he's in the home, so he'll receive funding but pay a contribution assessed looking at his income. He obviously would need to consent to go into a home but with that level of home care would be eligible for nursing home care. If you look at any homes whilst waiting on them make sure to ask if they accept the local authority rate, and also ask what they would charge once he is classed as self funding, after the initial 12 weeks.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 27/04/2023 22:11

If he owns his own home you will be classified as a ‘self funder’ and Social Services won’t be interested. Not necessarily true. I had good SS support despite Dad being a self funder.

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mycoffeecup · 28/04/2023 06:22

Oldermum84 · 27/04/2023 18:33

Approach your local adult social care team. If he has under £23,250 in savings he'll be eligible for a 12 week disregard. Which means the property is disregarded for the first 12 weeks he's in the home, so he'll receive funding but pay a contribution assessed looking at his income. He obviously would need to consent to go into a home but with that level of home care would be eligible for nursing home care. If you look at any homes whilst waiting on them make sure to ask if they accept the local authority rate, and also ask what they would charge once he is classed as self funding, after the initial 12 weeks.

None of this is true if SS don't think he needs q care home. If he's managing with 4 times a day carers.

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Mindymomo · 28/04/2023 06:37

For us when my DM had to go in a nursing home my Dad and I visited one which was recommended and was near to him. The Manager went through everything with us. Fortunately my Dad only had to pay a little towards costs, her pension covered some of it. My Mum was only 69 when she went into the home, she was in a wheelchair, but it was important for us that they did a lot of activities as she didn’t want to spend more time than she had to in her bedroom. My late Mother in Law worked for Age UK, they are very good and will come and and visit you and your parent and go through everything for you. You could do a trial weekend for him to see how he gets on.

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Longingforthesummer · 28/04/2023 07:19

UPDATE
All very helpful thank you everyone.

I think in time he will deterioate even more even with the help from carers. As in eating, feeding himself drinking is a major issue as very dehydrated at mo and caphter isnt draining so nurse on her way out today.

He does have medical issues such as reocurring lung cancer but they are not doing anything about this due to age and fragility.

Will just have to see how it goes.

I will arrange a call and visit with Age Concern though their name pops up alot with good advice.

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IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 28/04/2023 10:30

One thing I would say is don't rely on the inspection reports. The descriptions I read of one particular home were completely different from what I had heard from friends who had had parents there/ friends who had worked there. Word of mouth is the best recommendation.

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countrygirl99 · 28/04/2023 16:03

I'm at a similar stage as you with mum. I looked at the CQC website and filtered on any that said dementia within 20 miles of where she lives. That only gave me 9. I then checked their websites to see if they accepted LA rates - like you mum has assets that will cover approx 3 years. Most didn't say so I delegated DB to phone. That took us down to 8. Other DB and I are in the process of visiting until we have 3 or 4 we think she might like. So far it's been 2 definite no and 2 possibles. It's not an urgent need yet so we don't need to rush but at least if it does get urgent we can concentrate on approaching the possibles first to see what the availability is.
Last summer we knew MILs needs would be urgent very soon (FIL was blocking despite his terminal cancer) and DH spent 2 days running round visiting homes and it was very stressful - lesson to look ahead learned.

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