Something between retirement village and own house

[roastednuts123]

My parents are looking to move house as they get into their 80s and health issues start appearing. We've looked at retirement villages with them but are put off by the service charges and fees. Ideally we would like something a bit half way between that and their own house but I'm not sure what exists. They are currently looking at new builds but they don't want to be surrounded by young families. I'm hoping that one of you wise women will have some advice or thoughts!

[florafoxtrot]

What about sheltered housing?

[Irisandillies]

@florafoxtrot

What about sheltered housing?

Um sheltered housing is the other end of the scale past retirement village

op, there really is only retirement housing or normal housing.

[Ilikewinter]

Its crap isnt it, weve also looked at retirement villages and some look amazing - with price tags to go with it. My DM longs to live in a little village of bungalows with like minded people. The only thing shes found close to this is living in a park home as they seem to mainly be aged for the over 50s so not full of young families. 😊

[NotLovingWFH]

Unfortunately there’s no getting around the fact that if you want the extra services that a retirement village offers above just your own house, it comes with fees and charges that need paying.

[TheSnowyOwl]

What about somewhere that has a large number of bungalows? Often young families still move in but they are typically more designed for older or less able people to get around in for longer than a house.

[LarkRize]

You might want to talk gently to your parents about the fact that they will likely need increasing care and services - ie now is the most independent they will be need to plan for what happens when one of them is ill or on their own. Retirement village will provide many helpful add ons at that point which. New build won’t.

It is tough though - recent research says that we mostly define “elderly” as 20 years older than we are and elderly people are the most resistant to using facilities designed for the elderly (!)…

[roastednuts123]

Thank you all for your replies. It confirms what I suspected in that it's either one or the other. Conversations needed!

[ringyloopy]

If they don't want to pay fees, they could buy an ordinary bungalow and make any necessary adaptations (wet room/grab rails etc). They could then also sign up for Lifeline or one of the pendant alarm services (they cost about £150 a year) so they have easy access to help if there's a fall or any kind of difficulty.

I would say that gives you all the help of sheltered accommodation but without the fees.

[Beamur]

There are occasionally some property that has an age restriction, but isn't serviced accommodation. So you're living amongst similar aged people but there would still be some service fees if, for example, it was a flat. I've seen flats restricted in this way but can't say I have seen many houses.

[itsserendipity]

I've been really impressed with the assisted living places on offer (my grandparents bought a place in one). Best of all are the friends he had there.

[SoddingSoda]

My in-laws have bought a statistic caravan on a quite a nice caravan park.

most of the residents are 70+, independent but enjoy the company of the other park residents. There’s very strict rules that the caravans cannot be rented out (therefore all the residents are there between 10-12 months a year) and doesn’t seem particularly kid friendly. There’s a swimming pool, club house (for sitting Zumba, coffee mornings, film club, bingo etc), bowls lawn etc but no play park or kids allowed in the club house.

It’s a nice community without it completely feeling like a retirement home. In-laws are very happy pottering around their little caravan and garden.

[80sMum]

It is tough though - recent research says that we mostly define “elderly” as 20 years older than we are and elderly people are the most resistant to using facilities designed for the elderly (!)…

True! When my parents and in-laws were the age I am now (65), I thought of them as "elderly" and treated them as such but I don't think of myself as elderly at all (nor probably ever will!).

[CeliaNorth]

A relative has a bungalow in a retirement complex. She lives entirely independently, but there is a warden onsite, and a resident's lounge, where they have community events, arranged by the residents themselves, or sometimes outside providers. But the warden and the lounge have to be paid for, of course.

[CeliaNorth]

Aaagh Autocorrect! That apostrophe was in the right place when I hit post. Residents' residents' residents'

[Irisandillies]

@CeliaNorth

A relative has a bungalow in a retirement complex. She lives entirely independently, but there is a warden onsite, and a resident's lounge, where they have community events, arranged by the residents themselves, or sometimes outside providers. But the warden and the lounge have to be paid for, of course.

Is that not sheltered housing?

[CeliaNorth]

The only sheltered aspect really is that every property has an alarm for 24 hr assistance. The warden is there as a site manager as much as anything. Residents look after themselves and their properties. Relative employs her own gardener, for example. Properties have garages, so it's expected that residents will have cars and be fit enough to drive. But properties are designed with needs of older people in mind - bungalows with ramps and handrails to front doors, for example.

[ZacharinaQuack]

In my village there's a newbuild estate where certain streets have bungalows, and there are also some flats in little detached two-story units. So the estate as a whole has lots of families, but there are plenty of older people around too who tend to live in the smaller properties. Obvs that doesn't help your parents unless they live in my village, but just wanted to flag up that it is possible!

[wonkylegs]

Near us is a retirement village with different levels of support from independent living to full care
At the independent end of things you literally just buy a house within a development of over 55s and you can add on services as and when you want them from gardening to housekeeping etc it's a huge place almost like a village of its own. They are leasehold properties though and you have to pay service charges for the estate.

www.middletonhallretirementvillage.co.uk/independent-living/

[Helenloveslee4eva]

At 80+ they need to be making a move to a flexible set up where they can remain as their care needs increase.
imho ( looking at these for father in law who failed to make the leap and he and MIL suffered greatly as a result😢).

retirement villages eg McCarthy and stone and the like come in 2 forms - the sort where you are together with other oldies and get a pull alarm and maybe a communal room type thing but that’s about it , the old “ warden controlled “ only really wardens don’t exist any more. The 2nd sort is “ extra care “ where you buy a flat and pay a fee for communal facilities - a restaurant for buying meals / coffees etc , a small shop maybe , a laundry facility and entertainment facilities / program. Then on a case by case bases you can also buy care from the facility team rather than employing your own private carers ( assuming you aren’t council funded ).

the issue we are struggling with is that all these places need you to buy rather than rent your flat and then of course sell it on after ( or sell it back at a loss ). be very clear in the sell back deal. Often you don’t to pay the hefty ongoing costs for a. Empty flat

[RuthTopp]

Nothing is for free , not even peace of mind which seems is what your parents want.
Living with your own freedom , but having a person who can assist at times of emergency , or a place to could choose to meet up with others who live close by is a chargeable service.

[exexpat]

After FiL died my MiL (then late 70s, now late 80s) moved into a bungalow in a cul-de-sac full of other bungalows on the edge of medium-sized town. She very rapidly got to know the other residents, many of who were her age or a little younger, and they have formed a pretty strong support network. That kind of set-up sounds like it might be the kind of thing to suit your parents, but it is harder to do the research for that kind of thing as it does not have a label, unlike an official retirement community. Maybe have a chat with an estate agent or two in likely areas?

[Irisandillies]

There are also parts of the country that attract retired folks. Nice countryside, decent gardens, too distant from any decent schools or too far for work commutes,

I have relatives who moved to a part of Norfolk on retirement, a small village, all their neighbours are retired, in their whole street, about 20 houses, they are very friendly with the neighbours, not one person actually has a job,they are all retirees. They all get together and get het up about rhe coronation party, or play bingo and cards. It’s quite idyllic , sociable and very supportive. They walk each others dogs if someone is ill, cut their grass , put the bins out, drop in for coffee etc.

I suspect there are quite a lot of places like that. But if they don’t want to pay fees etc, and don’t wish to move away, their options are very limited. It’s a house then can afford in the location they wish to be.

[maxelly]

I know the sheltered housing suggestion got poo-poo'd as more not less than a retirement village but if finances are the main concern it might be worth a second look. Yes of course there will be a service charge with any sheltered housing but if you look at the schemes run by housing trusts it can be a more affordable option, some of the swanky brand new retirement villages do have absolutely sky-high service charges (to pay for things like the swimming pool, gym etc) and v restrictive clauses about resell etc.

Whereas the older style blocks of flats/traditional sheltered housing model, while being set up well with the elderly in mind (lifts, grab rails, alarms, communal lounge and gardens etc) don't have quite such high charges although of course more than you pay for a normal house/flat to take into account the extra you get. I have 2 elderly relatives in such schemes, one run by Orbit and one by Anchor, and both are very happy. The anchor one is very reasonably priced for an all-in (bills included) rental flat with daytime manager cover, 24/7 alarm system and additional home help or care services can be arranged for extra £, downside is it's a 1970s building and not particularly visually appealing, has a hint/sniff of the care home about it, but the manager and other residents v v friendly and community minded. The orbit one is more pricey but a much newer/nicer block, feels more like an upscale urban apartment building, you can choose to rent or buy (either way bills covered in service charge which is fairly reasonable all things considered), no gym/cafe/swimming pool but nice garden which the residents tend themselves and again extra care can be brought in if needed. Just something to consider, don't necessarily write off sheltered housing altogether?

[NeedingCoffee]

@ZacharinaQuack

In my village there's a newbuild estate where certain streets have bungalows, and there are also some flats in little detached two-story units. So the estate as a whole has lots of families, but there are plenty of older people around too who tend to live in the smaller properties. Obvs that doesn't help your parents unless they live in my village, but just wanted to flag up that it is possible!

Lots of the villages around us have a cul de sac or similar with properties only available to the over X’s and communal maintenance but no real assistance services (that I am aware of). Like this one
http://www.dibleysheritageltd.co.uk/

I don’t know if that sort of thing would suit?

[APseudonymNeeded]

@TheSnowyOwl

What about somewhere that has a large number of bungalows? Often young families still move in but they are typically more designed for older or less able people to get around in for longer than a house.

This is what I was going to suggest.

The town I grew up in has a whole bungalow estate. It was, for the longest time, just OAP’s. although there are now a few families, it is still mostly old people.

The town I now live in also has numerous cul de sacs of bungalows.