Relative at unexpected EOL but differing accounts of what's actually wrong

[ThomasWaghornsConeHat]

It's dh side of family. Relative seems to be EOL and family is going to bedside so not looking good. So far everyone dh talks to has said different reasons. It's hard knowing how serious it really is as yesterday it was a dire diagnosis. Don't want to say to much as its all personal info, but yesterday told It's a blood vessel issue. A nhs worker worker in the fanily said it could be medicated but even with my limited knowledge I know that condition can not be treated with medication. Today another relative has said a more minor very operable condition in no way related to the first. Both relatives are there at the hospital. How can two relatives come up with such differing diagnosis?

I'm finding it extra stressful as I have no idea if this the end but also because my own mum has been to the hospital and diagnosed with a brain condition that she is brushing off. I worry that family and my mum are having major misunderstanding of what they are being told. It's really hard. If you never hear anything first hand, like my mum, how serious, how worried to be. In mums case she has refused to have anyone go to appointments because "I'm not bloody stupid. Maybe not but neither are you asking the Dr questions

It's tough OP. I had similar with my mum. People have such different ideas about health and disease. Mum was in hospital and my brother said she had not been given a diagnosis. Another relative said she had been diagnosed, but they were waiting for a consultant to sign off on her medication before they discharged her. It turned out neither of them was 100% right. Mum was also one to minimise everything.

Thanks for replying. One person saying its a condition that could make them bleed to death within minute and another saying its stones. No idea if there has been any scans or tests or anything or if they are going to be discharged. One is asking for prayers and one is saying they can medicate.

Same for my mum. Everything I read says she will need a op ( minor procedure but without it she will have dire sideeffects). Mum.tells me and sister two different stories and sis thinks its nothing to worry about - because that's what mum tells her.

All I can do is sit on my hands and wait. Telling dh he needs to ask what tests have been done but like my sister doesn't seem worried by the different diagnosis every day. Someone could tell him it's gangrene but it's OK a plaster will fix it today and he would be happy with that. I can't understand why. Denial? With facts how can they advocate for the right care?

I don't understand that 'ignorance is bliss' attitude. I'm like you, I would want to understand as much as I could.

I don't know how can get the right treatment without asking either. Even a simple Google tells me my mum needs a procedure asap. But with the relative, I'm going to have to keep busy and think of other things. I can't work out if it's drama or serious. It feels like it's not good but nothing concrete to imply that. It's in laws so I'm not in the place to ask