Does my Auntie have a say with Social Services over care - now?

[starfish4]

My Uncle is slowly deteriorating and my cousin's partner (lives with him, seen as equivalent to daughter-in-law) has contacted Social Services for assessment and support. Care team have been out today, equipment installed and he will have a care team coming in. From what they've said, Social Services consider my cousin's wife to be next of kin and not my Auntie (I assume in terms of any decisions over his care at home, not hospital treatment or end of life decisions). Is this correct? Cousin's partner did instigate assessment, but my Auntie is his wife and mentally capable. Auntie and cousin have had words today over it.

That’s very strange. Did your uncle maybe nominate them as NoK?

It doesn't sound correct. Who has assumed this; the cousin's partner? She's mistaken.

Does cousins partner have power of attorney?

There is actually no such thing as next of kin legally.
I contacted SS on behalf of my stepfather a couple of years ago. My DM was fully competent but in denial. As I was the one who made the referral, they had me down as a point of contact. They very much included my DM in all decision making though.
It could be that the wife is also in denial about her husband’s needs and feels angry that SS have been contacted.

Does you uncle still have capacity? If so then he is who social services will deal with.
If he doesn’t then it will depend a bit on if there is a power of attorney and are they married.
His wife will be his legal next of kin as long as she has capacity.
I can’t really work out why his daughter-in-law ( are you cousins and her married??) would have any real role here other than it seems she’s been the one to step up and be there when she was needed?? I suspect the uncle and wife could refuse and choose whatever they want and the cousin and partner could do little about it.
Is his wife questioning the need for care?? What is the scenario at home? Does he need what is being organised?
If I was you I’d be heavily encouraging them to accept all help being offered.

In the event of mental incapacity myself, my cousin and any living spouse are attorneys (jointly and severally). She does is not an appointed Attorney.

My Uncle is definitely mentally capable, but just trying to gauge (1) so as Auntie feels she's in control and (2) if he does become mentally incapable I need to be clear what's happening as POA is jointly and severally and be prepared to step in quick if not comfortable with anything. I only see my DC at family events, so don't want to rock the boat yet and contact him until I'm sure of facts. Now wondering if it's a case that cousin's wife is initial contact but Auntie will be consulted.

Trying to work out from afar. Only days I don't work are Saturdays, but I've got a stinking cold and really can't go near the family this coming Saturday (one of my DU's conditions relates to his lungs).

From what I understand, I would say he does need the equipment and care would benefit him right now, which is obviously a valid point. It's the fact my DA understands she's not his next of kin for Social Services purposes and feels she doesn't have a say.

It sounds like your uncle needs to make it clear to SS that he and your aunt will be making the decisions.

sounds as if some wires have been crossed, you wouldn't put someone down as NOK unless nominated so by the person themselves, you need to get the persons permission to discuss anything with another household member so its hard as you will never know exactly what your uncle said...why wasn't your auntie present at the assessment ,have she & her husband not got a good relationship?I'm presuming the home belongs to your uncle and aunt? Perhaps your auntie could address it with them when they next visit.

I said I'd speak to my Auntie tomorrow, so hopefully things will become clearer then. I'll check to see if she was around when assessment was carried out (only other place she would have been was my cousins! as she won't go anywhere unless someone takes her - that's been the case since I was little, so nothing new)