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Elderly parents

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Original poster

Care home room for dad with dementia

23 replies

FluffyBunni · 26/01/2023 22:08

My Dad has dementia and will be moving into a care home tomorrow.

I'm helping my mum settle him in and bringing a few things from their home. He's unable to read or operate things by himself so no point bringing too many things like that. Aside from some photos is there anything else I can bring / get to make his room nicer for him?

OP posts:

Mumof1andacat · 26/01/2023 22:11

Cushions. Maybe one from home and maybe a nice new one. You can lovely 'furry' feeling one which would be lovely to touch/feel

helpfulperson · 26/01/2023 22:16

It's worth having a couple of books about things that interest him. It helps give staff clues for conversations and also either staff or visitors can read to him. We also found putting labels on photo's with who was in them and including photos of favourite places/things with descriptions like 'cable car on Maderia. Dad enjoyed his holiday's in Madeira with Mum' Again for staff to use as conversation openers. We did laminated A4 sheets with a few photos and captions on various topics.

Easy care plants can also make a room look and feel more homely. We had cactuses as they didn't need looked after much.

Does he enjoy the radio or music? An easy operate radio with a note of which stations he might like so staff can put it on for him.

Chocchops72 · 26/01/2023 22:23

My mil has

cushions
pictures
photos of family members
pictures / crafty things made by grandchildren
nice blanket
nice crystal vase for flowers
plants

i don’t think she notices any of these things but it cheers my FIL up when he visits and gives visitors something to talk about.

Spotsstripes · 26/01/2023 22:24

Some photo albums and write about each photo it will help him bond with the carers. You could also label the photos of the ones you put on the wall too.
I knew of some residents that like the smell of their partners perfume sprayed on some material as this soothed them but for some it made them worse as they were searching for their partner.
Does he like to fiddle? A tasseled blanket is good as multi purpose. Also some hankies to fold if he is into folding.
Could you laminate somethings of interest? Photos, newspaper articles, things to do with work, family, holidays anything he enjoyed?
Does he like music? Very simple radio?
Can he draw? Colour in? Shuffle cards?
Has he got any favourite objects?

Mum5net · 26/01/2023 22:40

Small wall-mounted whiteboard with whiteboard pens .
we used to write messages on them for DM at the beginning ‘See you Tuesday, We love you xx’
The staff could point to message to reassure her

BlueGlassOfDoom · 26/01/2023 22:40

When my Dad was moving from hospital into a nursing home in similar circumstances, his consultant advised me to go in ahead of his arrival and set up the room with his familiar things - the nursing home were very happy to facilitate this, so when he arrived all the unpacking was done, suitcases put away and he was surrounded by his own things, which made it less unsettling for him.

My brother got a small book printed with a selection of family photos - about £5.00 from Vistaprint - so staff or visitors could look at it with him and chat, and easier for him to see than the framed photos as his eyesight deteriorated.

We brought a throw from home that was velvet one side and silky the other side and he found the tactile nature comforting.

Maybe a wee bottle of your Mum’s usual perfume to skoosh onto pillows etc would be comforting?

Every good wish to all of you!

BlisterWives · 27/01/2023 08:14

I am hopefully moving my DM next week into a care home. I’ve taken cushions, a chair, throws, a few ornaments and some art work from her flat and have stored them ready for her new room. I will also buy her a TV. I’ll buy a new duvet cover as well when I’ve seen the colour of the room.

NCTDN · 27/01/2023 08:23

I like the idea of the room being ready on his arrival. Plants will look nice plus give your mum something to do when she is there.
A blanket with tassels sounds great.

BlueGlassOfDoom · 27/01/2023 08:31

Worth checking what’s already in the room before purchasing anything, eg there was a TV in my Dad’s.

If bedding needs changing frequently, a throw might be better than a duvet cover which would probably fade quickly with washing in the home’s laundry. Rooms are usually pretty neutral, so a lovely way to introduce a favourite colour.

MereDintofPandiculation · 27/01/2023 09:28

Remember to label everything - throws, cushions, flower vases

Muchtoomuchtodo · 27/01/2023 09:34

A simple music player.

thai is a good one shop.alzheimers.org.uk/products/simple-music-player-red-mark2-vat-free?variant=42545412079770

you upload a variety of your Dad’s favourite music, then just lift the flap on the top and it plays. So simple and music can be really powerful for people living with dementia

Mwnci123 · 27/01/2023 18:37

I have worked in dementia care homes.

Agree with pp about family photos with names. Helpful for staff to make conversation with your dad.

Agree also with some way to play music he likes (if he likes music).

Hopefully not the case at your dad's place, but one home I did a couple of shifts in didn't provide bedside lamps for residents, so you couldn't create a cosier, more restful atmosphere before bedtime.

I hope he settles well op.

Twazique · 27/01/2023 18:52

We also found that plants worked really well, it gave us something to do when we arrived as we would water and fuss the plant a bit, felt more normal than just sitting down and asking how they were like a visitor to someone in hospital. We got a fluffy fern type plant and a succulent.

That music player is fantastic! We found a few books was good because our person had always had books around and it would have felt odd not to have some. We also would take a magazine and discuss it, BBC History worked well for us.

MereDintofPandiculation · 27/01/2023 19:58

Care homes are hot, so plants need more water than you would have thought possible. My dad doesn’t like them, it’s “one more thing to worry about”. So it depends on the person

Belindabelle · 27/01/2023 20:29

Small games like dominoes, Boggle, pack of cards. Gives you something to do together when you visit.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 27/01/2023 22:12

As well as what to put in the room, have a think about how your visits might look.

when my Nan who had dementia was in a home, I used to use some of the cst resources from this site www.simondementia.co.uk

I’d print them off in advance, take my phone and a speaker and we had lots of fun. Not every visit went to plan but it gave some variety and enjoyment.

the same guy who runs that site tweets the cst activity on his Twitter feed
@ donovan_si (I had to put a space in after the @ to get it to post!) It’s an amazing resource.

BruceAndNosh · 27/01/2023 22:18

We got a large wall clock with day and date on it.
We couldn't find one with months, so we typed and laminated the months which were attached with velcro.

BruceAndNosh · 27/01/2023 22:20

We also hung a large picture from Home which made the room feel familiar

Nat6999 · 27/01/2023 22:25

We took my grandad his armchair from home, his television, radio, some ornaments, photos & bedding.

PennyToffee · 27/01/2023 22:30

Ornaments from his home. Blankets. Picture books and easy jigsaws so there's something to do when you visit.

Sweets and biscuits to share.

Badbudgeter · 27/01/2023 22:32

A sweet box or bowl, often dementia sufferers develop a sweet tooth. Fidget blanket. Sometimes places will let you bring your own furniture which can help it feel familiar. Label stuff in multiple places with room number and initials. Try not to send too many clothes. Work out what will fit in space. Everything will be hung in wardrobe. I’d go with five trousers/ tops/ jumpers. Clothes will be hot washed at 60 and tumble dried so if you’re sending nice jumpers I’d request a laundry basket and take them home to launder.

BruceAndNosh · 27/01/2023 23:09

I got Cash's embroidered school name tapes to label all my mum's clothes.

Justaboutalive · 28/01/2023 15:45

Something I’ve just done for my Mother- a series of photobooks (more robust than albums) made online via a photo print co.

An early year book, with parents, siblings, school photos and achievements- all labelled.
A book about marriage, children, work etc - again all labelled/dates
A later book with grandchildren - a few pictures oh how “children” look now.

The company I used, produced really good quality books (often there are discounts to the full price) and even though Mum can’t read a book anymore, she spends a lot of time trying to capture precious memories.

The carers really like them too, as it provides a talking point.

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