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Elderly parents

Mother in nursing home - Nursing Care

13 replies

TheFlowerArranger · 25/01/2023 19:28

My mother is in a nursing home and she is self funded after selling her house over 4 years ago. She pays roughly £38k a year and she really loved the home, however most of the caring staff seemed to have left/

She has recently developed dementia but otherwise is very mobile and active but has become a bit erratic and violent. She walks around at night destroying furniture and trying to attack other residents. She has slapped other residents during the day and punched and attacked staff.

She has a social worker and we had a meeting with the manager of the home and between them, they decided that she needed 1:1 care. I believe that the home said they would cover it.

I received the bill for the 6 weeks of 1:1 care and it is over £30k. I initially spoke to the manager and she advised me that she did not believe that my mother should pay for the care and she would shift her budget around to cover the bill. She told me not to worry and she would sort it out as agreed.

I just seen that my mother has had these monies as well as the monthly fees, taken from her account and she has less than 4k left which is below the threshold (£23k) whereby government funding steps in. I tried to speak to the care home manager but was advised that she has gone back home to Poland and there are no records of her offering to cover the 1:1 fees. I have spoken to the social worker and he told me that he believed that as we were self-funding, we would pay for the 1:1 care.

I have asked the LA for a means assessment as we are well below the threshold but wondered if anyone had a similar experience and knows whether there is any way to claim the fees back to take us back to the £23k threshold.

Sorry for the really long story. I feel that I relied too much on the goodwill of others and now there isn't a paper trail.

OP posts:
CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 25/01/2023 19:30

Have your tried speaking to the social worker to see if they have a record of what was agreed about the 1:1?

CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 25/01/2023 19:31

I've just seen that you have already! Sorry!
I would push for the financial assessment and put in a complaint asap.

Imperfect10 · 25/01/2023 19:34

i think you need to ask for an assessment for continuing healthcare (CHC) . They are area specific so hard to advise but here dementia needs requiring 1:1 supervision would qualify. If she is assessed and reaches the threshold then monies already paid could be reclaimed.

Ilovethewild · 25/01/2023 19:35

Immediately complain to the company/owner/finance team of the are home.

they surely had no authority to take extra money without written agreement otherwise they could take any money from vulnerable residents bank accounts (which is what they have done)

raise it as a safeguarding issue as their actions have been financial abuse.

raise with local authority as well as care home.
raise with CQC as well

Imperfect10 · 25/01/2023 19:36

Age UK have advice on their website and your local authority should have pages and forms for you to look at

TheFlowerArranger · 25/01/2023 19:42

Thank you all. I got a shock when I opened my mother's statement and found all her life savings have been eaten away. I will take your advice.

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TheFlowerArranger · 25/01/2023 19:48

I am getting exasperated with the care that my mother is receiving. The care home had very competent staff and also the carers seemed to actually care about the patients and they were from countries that seemed to value and respect old people. These seem now to be disappearing back to their countries. to be replaced with rough barely competent jobsworths who seem to just want to chat and do the minimum amount work. I really worry for my mother at this home not just financially but in terms of care. I worry what happens when I get old.

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helpfulperson · 25/01/2023 20:15

There should be a lot of steps between a dementia diagnosis with challenging behaviour and a 1 to 1. Has your mum been seen by a GP and/or the mental health team. When we had this there was various medications that they gave my dad and when these initially didn't work there was talk on an inpatient admission to the local psychiatric hospital dementia wing for assessment. The GP took advice from the mental health teams and managed to stabilise his mood swings before that happened. There was also loads of things the care home did to keep him and others safe.

TheFlowerArranger · 25/01/2023 20:49

It is actually not that long after my mother exhibited these behaviours, less than 3 months. The care home has not done anything apart from tell me that they cannot care for her needs for the last week and they want to move her out immediately to a nursing home. They said they only have 3 staff for 25 patients at night and they are are not the right provision. They are now trying to find an emergency nursing home place right now to move her. I live in London and have to travel to see where they place her as I don't want them to make an arbitrary decision without my consent as to where she goes next.

The home have said a nursing home will have medical staff, proper processes and procedures for dementia and they can take care of her needs and assess her dementia, whereas the current care home that she attends does not have any qualified medical staff and they stated that they cannot get anyone to see her due to shortages within the NHS.

As far as I can see, they don't seem to have followed any form of procedure apart from get her to pay for 1:1 support. I don't think she has been seen by any medical staff or had any assessment or any form of medication assessment.

They just seem to want to wash her hands of her.

OP posts:
TheFlowerArranger · 25/01/2023 21:24

Can you advise what sort of things they tried to keep your father safe?

The care home seems to think that my mother needs 1:1 to provide around the clock care to keep her safe before they find somewhere that can fully care for her needs to keep her and other residents safe.

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helpfulperson · 25/01/2023 21:40

Sorry, I thought from the title she was in a nursing home. I agree that she would be better where there are medical professionals and a higher ratio of staff

Dad was on something that helped calm him down and make him less anxious but I'm not sure what. They had a bed alarm so if he tried to get up it alerted staff and a chair alarm as well although he wasn't very mobile. His distress was mostly around dressing and washing. The recommended clothes that were easy to get him in and out of to make it quick and easy. Jogging bottoms and poloshirts. For a couple of weeks while medications were kicking in his washing was the bare minimum for hygiene so a quick strip wash rather than a full shower etc They minimised unsupervised access to other residents by careful management of his and others activities, They also knew what would upset him and what would calm him. There was a singer who used to come in and do concerts that the other residents loved and he hated. So when she was in they would settle him in his room with Radio 3 on.

And as a last resort there was a mild sedative that the nurse could give him if he couldn't settle and was distressed.

MadeleineMummy · 26/01/2023 20:35

Thanks so much. They are moving my mother tomorrow to a home the social worker said was very good. I cannot go until this weekend so will have to rely on the social worker.

helpfulperson · 27/01/2023 19:57

I hope it works out. Fingers crossed.

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