Hi, I'm hoping for some tips / advice on applying for Attendance Allowance for my MIL (89). Her situation is this:
She lives alone - recently moved to a retirement flat, no outside carers, DH (only child) or I call in most days. She avoids contact with her GP and other health professionals unless the situation is urgent. She hasn't seen her GP for a year when she failed one memory test and was borderline on the second. She refused a referral to the memory clinic. She was assessed at an acute specialist Eye ED 12 months ago when she had an infection and she was unable to read the top line of the sight chart with her glasses (I do have that report). She refuses a referral for cataract surgery (which would improve her vision). Her hearing is very poor. She has hearing aids but refuses to wear them. She had a hip replacement 10 years ago, walks with a stick, is slow and frail but mobile. She has had a few falls on public transport and escalators when out and about but she hasn't had any medical attention for them. She takes a range of medication for high blood pressure / something related to her kidneys (unsure of the diagnosis). She has a weekly dosset pack from the pharmacy but needs help from DH or I to take the right pills at the right time as she gets into a muddle and can't understand it.
Although her long term memory is fine, her short term memory comes and goes. Her cognitive abilities have declined recently, so she is unable to understand how to (for example) top up her metres (she can't see them to top up in any case). We assist her in paying all her bills, her banking, admin etc. but she won't allow us to progress POA. She is unable to go grocery shopping unassisted, she can't / won't cook for herself. We do her laundry, put out her bins, clean and tidy the flat, and she also has a cleaner once a week.
She is completely urinary incontinent and sometimes bowel incontinent. She wears incontinence underwear 24/7 but without our help is not able to dispose appropriately (we find them stuffed in drawers, in the bed etc.). Needless to say she won't entertain a referral to the continence service. She is just about managing her own personal care (washing, dressing but can't wash her own hair). She sometimes stays in bed all day, and can often be up wandering about in the early hours of the morning. She is aware of day/night but can't seem to go to bed / get up when she intends to. She goes out to unassisted to a church coffee morning, Darby & Joan, and (despite not being able to hear at all well...) goes to a local French class and a music class. There's a local pub that serves food and she sometimes goes there for a hot meal at lunchtime. Otherwise one of us will cook for her most evenings.
We're probably reaching the limit of support we can offer her now, hence applying for AA. I'm a bit worried about not having any medical evidence because she refuses to engage with her GP / local health services and isn't on their radar. She absolutely denies that she has any health needs, and gets quite aggressive and upset if we try to discuss with her. I'm filling the form out on her behalf but she will be signing it (probably won't be able to read it though....).
Do her needs sound like they will meet the threshold for AA? Is there anything I should be emphasising? I absolutely don't want to embellish anything, but it would be helpful to hear from those with more experience than me.
TLDR - filling out an AA for for a frail 89yr old who can't see or hear well, with declining cognitive abilities who doesn't engage with any HCP. What should I emphasise?
Thank you to anyone who can offer their experience / advice!