Including Mum

[MyMumhasDementia]

I will go see my mum today. She’s awaiting a dementia diagnosis in a care home since my dad died in sept.

She is a shadow of her former self and it breaks my heart each time I see her.

However, today is a celebration as my husband and I are celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary today.

The staff at the care home suggested a little party there so mum can be included. She’s got to the point where taking her out is too risky with her volatile behaviour.

It’s very different from what we’d originally planned - a vow renewal held at our original wedding reception venue with dad walking me down the aisle and all our families there to celebrate with us.

I can’t help but feel emotional and sad today, on what should be a happy and joyous day x x

I’m sorry, it’s a difficult time for you.

Try to be in the moment, enjoy what you have, and don’t think about what might have been. It’s lovely planning and anticipating, but if we didn’t do this, it’d be much easier to enjoy what actually happens. Today will be joyous, but in a different way. Take photos, including your mother looking happy. Don’t expect anything, just seize every moment. Above all don’t let thinking what might have been spoil a happy occasion

If it gets too much, remind yourself that tomorrow it will be over.

And plan something special for you and your husband to do together.

My heart goes out to you! Congratulations on reaching such a wonderful milestone together. My husband and I will be celebrating our ruby anniversary in March.

It is so lovely that you can include mum but the loss of your dad is still very recent so it is understandable that today is a day of mixed emotions. Although you will be missing your dad celebrate your love for each other.