MIL hyperfixating and obsessing

[BillHadersNewWife]

She's 75 and has sold her home a month ago. She has moved in with us whilst she looks for a new house. We live in Oz....she's Aussie and DH is too obviously. I've lived here for years.

The problem is that I'm finding it hard to live with her....I've done it before years ago but she's changed as she's aged. She talks about her old house daily and multiple times....mentioning the couple who bought it a lot and asking me if I think she should message them about minor things which don't matter. Her table manners have gone down hill and I can barely stand to eat near her....I feel awful for saying this because I do love her but she's using her hands to rip meat up and then repeatedly sucking her fingers like a toddler.

DH is dismissive of it all...she's got osteoporosis and has lost a ton of weight this year...however she's adamant that she wants to buy a house in her old neighbourhood and live alone again....I worry she won't find one in her budget and also that she'll barely cope with the stress of buying a property. She hasn't looked at any properties since moving in with us....all her things are in storage. I am concentrating on helping her to get a walk daily and just to eat more regularly so she puts weight on. It feels like having a strange child in the hous3.

The weight loss would worry me. Has she seen a doctor about it?

Yes and he wants to do an endoscopy in a week or two and some other tests. Her blood came up as clear but her bone density is terrible.

Has she been to see a Doctor regarding the weightloss?

Yes and she said he wants ti do an endoscopy and the other one...can't remember what it's called.

Her strange behaviour and unexplained weight loss sounds like my own grandmother before everything went downhill suddenly. If you do care deeply about her (and you're entitled not to), it might be good she's staying with you in case that happens.

I wonder if DH is worried about this as he's not terribly pushy about searching for a new place for her though he was when she first arrived. I think living with her has made him and me too...see how frail she is.

Sounds like she's regressing and loosing functional skills. Could be early dementia, maybe ask the dr for an assessment.

It sounds as if she is pining for her old house. I used to deflect worries by asking my dad to write a complete list of what needed to be covered, and promising to post it when he had.