drinking and falling

[toofishy]

my mum is 87 lives alone and on the whole is fairly independent .
Between my bother and i we see her at least once a week each plus always cover weekends.
For both of us it's a 2 hour ish trip there and back each time.
She refuses to stay with either of us for an evening.
She has always liked a drink but is now beginning to get drunk at night and fall over.
the alarm people call us and we go over to find her incontnient confused etc.
The next day she has no recollection of this and becomes very angry .
I now dread going to bed as i am awaiting the call.
Has anyone else had this? Any ideas for how to get through this until she inevitably has an injury requiring hospital ?

I’d be harsh and take videos/pictures of her in that state to show her for your discussion. Say if she denies it when her fall alarm goes off then you’ll leave her there on the floor drunk and in pain/a mess. She can choose to move nearer where you are willing to provide care but you can’t go up every evening. Also she needs to protect her finances from her drinking patentera and she’ll soon be giving them her card(if not already) to go and buy drink. Suggest a ring doorbell you can access?

You rang, m'lord....
Now oddly enough, my mum is now in a care home after one too many falls, and it is absolutely the best thing that ever happened. That's why I'd gone quiet!

My mum was on a bottle of vodka (or whisky) a day. I guess one of the things you need to think about OP is why your mum is drinking to excess - my late dad used to drink a LOT because he was in a lot of pain (age related wear and tear) and he just couldn't get to sleep of a night. If it's self-medicating, or out of boredom, rather than addiction, that's kind of fixable.

In mum's case it was addiction and the only thing that was able to stop it, is being physically unable/not allowed to buy alcohol.

I'm sorry that's not really very optimistic but for me I'd be putting a care package and protection in place for ME first. Your mum is making a choice to drink riskily (is that even a word?) and she is entitled to do that if she wants to, as long as she's fully aware of the possible consequences. You're also entitled to say that you're not willing to put yourself through late-night phone calls and anxiety and distress in order to enable her drinking, and that you won't be her emergency callout any more because your own wellbeing and that of your family, won't stand it. But you've got to allow yourself to say "that's enough now, no more".

We were in the exact same situation and when we finally found out who was providing the alcohol (they generously kept the change!) she went mad at us but we said we’d buy the wine she wanted and we bought alcohol free wine, she didn’t realise.

Sorry if this is thick but how will a needs assessment be useful in a situation like this?

They might decide that she needs a carer at bedtime to check she's ok and out her to bed. Obviously she'd have ti consent.