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Elderly parents

Advice on getting nan into care home

9 replies

Lindos1 · 07/01/2023 20:04

My nan is in her late 90s. Lives in her own council bungalow. No savings. She has carers 3 x day & my mum caring for her (I live 2 hrs away) but it's become apparent she is unable to live on her own anymore. She's just gone into respite care for two weeks as she got v poorly, but she has just rallied.

Can anyone advise how to get a place in a home, or anywhere we can go to for advice. It's obviously a complicated system to navigate, & will be a fight. Have tried CAB & Help the Aged, but not helpful. Any handy hints would be much appreciated. Many thanks

OP posts:
Mummy2C · 07/01/2023 20:06

Have they got a social worker? Go through social services

Muchtoomuchtodo · 07/01/2023 20:09

She’ll need an adult social care assessment.
if they agree that her needs are at the level of needing a care home (residential or nursing) the local authority will usually pay a set amount each week. You can ask if they have a list of homes that currently have variances or phone around yourselves. Any that charge more than the LA set amount will need the fees topping up by your Nan, or family.

Rainbowhoney · 07/01/2023 20:12

Was the respite care in a home? What did she think of that?

Currently going through a similar situation with my grandad, although he's 84 and has dementia, he has 3 carers a day, family in every day, cameras arround his house and a ring doorbell. He's allways said I'm never going into a home, I'm a young man, my nan (divorced but they are still friends, live apart) takes him to a dementia group every week and he's been to a few open days at care homes and recently when we took him to look at a care home to move into he said he liked it, when he got home and we mentioned it again as he forgot he now says he dosent like it, he moves in next week, it's going to be tough for all of us.

Contact adult social care, who funds her careers at the moment? Maybe speak to the care agency and see what they advise

gogohmm · 07/01/2023 20:16

Adult social services are able to assess for live in care

cptartapp · 07/01/2023 20:19

If you think a home is best for her and social services disagree, then your mum may need to cite 'carer breakdown' and threaten to fully withdraw all her care to force the issue. No input whatsoever.
Social services expected my mum to prop up a similar situation and it was only when she stepped right back that things changed. SS will often want to try with the cheapest option first.

Lindos1 · 07/01/2023 21:12

Thank you for the replies. My mum is broken really from having cared for my nan for years, & yes, social services are saying that she's fine to stay in her own home, which is clearly not true. Therefore we need to fight that. My mum has an operation coming up soon so won't be able to provide care, but there's no way the extremely basic care she gets from the carers will be enough.
Do you have any more info on 'carer breakdown'? What would be the best way to cite this?
Thank you!

OP posts:
cptartapp · 08/01/2023 07:49

Just state it as that. Carer breakdown. Complete withdrawal of your mums input, presuming she doesn't live with her. No shopping, no cleaning, no washing, no cooking, even suspending any visits at all for her own mental health. Sounds completely heartless but is often the only way to force a change.
If she lives with her then threaten she will be moving out to stay with other family.
It sounds completely heartless but surely your GM doesn't want this life for your mum?!

Stoechas · 08/01/2023 07:55

And what does you Nan want?

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/01/2023 09:02

Any that charge more than the LA set amount will need the fees topping up by your Nan, or family. I thought it could only be topped up by family? The logic being, that the financial assessment took everything except basic needs, so the resident can’t be expected to pay more.

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