Should I become more available

[Seagate]

My mother is early 70s and I suspect there is dementia happening and some sort of a mental decline. This isn't just me reaching this overnight. There's been over 18 months of behaviours that are off with her. It was last winter when I becan to tie these bits together and I am seriously thinking there is something happening with her.

She still has some independence and some capacity and she does a lot for herself. I live at home with her. Originally my work was Monday to Friday but over time there was so much more added on. Nearly every single month there is a weekend of work in between the working week.

Anyways I am thinking about stepping back from work and just go back to the original contract without all the extras. I know my mother doesn't need care as sucjlh right now but I just want to be more available to keep her company. Does that make sense?

What do you guys think? Just after getting my schedule for the next three weeks and this week and next week is somewhat normal and then the following week is Monday to Friday as per usual and then they want me to work Saturday and Sunday as well followed by another work week Monday to Friday.

I want to be more available to keep her company at home. I don't have any other family to help me on this. My siblings live abroad. She doesn't have a partner. Her own siblings and family keep to themselves. I have no one else.

I don't want to go into the new year with old habits and having work dedicate so much of my life when I have issues now at home.

I'm sorry OP but based on your other posts, I'd say no.

I am going to be cutting back on work and spending a lot more time with my mum, so it's not that I'm against it per se.

but I think you'd be better spending less time with her. Is she even actually ill? She isn't old. Has she seen a doctor? What happens when you aren't around, she takes care of herself okay?

it seems that you want her to change but you have to realise it might not work. Maybe cut back your hours and do other things that you enjoy?

She's not ill. She's not old. I do think there is something happening with her but it's early-ish days and I don't have a diagnosis. There's just so much little things here and there that's vague-ish and odd-ish. I'm tieing these bits together and thinking maybe there's dementia brewing with her.

I observed her many evenings when I come home from. She sits in her chair in the kitchen and she's staring at the TV and not really taking it in. She looks frazzled at the tv. She looks empty at the TV. She looks empty at the screen.
Today I went to work and she had the chase on TV. I came home and it was still on TV. It must have been on repeat all day long.

My thought process isn't to look after her nor am I hoping to change her. My thought process is to make myself more free and available and stay at home more and to keep or company. Even if its just to provide some sort of security in the home. Especially now in the heart of winter. It mightn't be too bad in the Spring or Summer. It's just to provide her with some company instead of galavanting to work every day.

I know my mom has no one else. My siblings are abroad. Her own siblings don't have anything to do with her. I know she has no one else and some people will argue its up to her to find her own company and friends or what not. I know she has no one else right now and I actually think it's a form of isolation and cruelty on my behalf.

I agreed to do a weekend in work in January and I am regretting it so bad. Should I go back on this?

My enjoyment is through my hobbies which I can work on at home while also providing some company for her.

I'd say no too. It's fine if you want to cut back on work for your own quality of life but I personally wouldn't do it because of what you've explained. You could very easily end up as a full time carer for your DM. Which is fine if that's what you want.

What I would do though is get her to the GP. Sounds like she needs assessing. If she won't go willingly, you could explain your concerns and ask them to call her in for a "well woman check".