For a couple of years now, my mum has been getting increasingly reclusive and unhappy. She and my dad used to have a pretty active social life, but in recent months she's been constantly cancelling things they've got planned (often letting down friends by doing so), and although dad has been very patient with her, I can see that it's making him quite frustrated and embarrassed. He does lots of things on his own, but he also really wants to do things with mum and with their mutual friends, and he feels there's a limit on how much he should be out without her. She's even started cancelling seeing close family sometimes now, which is very out of character.
She's had some health problems (possible IBS, insomnia) which have made things difficult, and these are generally the reason she gives for why she's not up to doing things. However, I increasingly think that the real problem is anxiety rather than physical illness. She said for the first time the other day that she's finding it hard to cope with doing things. I've noticed other changes too. She's become increasingly repetitive and forgetful, quite often losing the word for something, or occasionally forgetting how to do a task. She never answers the phone when I ring any more (it's always dad), and she's reluctant to stay on the phone for long. She's occasionally uncharacteristically ratty and has become a bit obsessed with certain things (eg the cost of goods and services, out of proportion to their financial situation, or what to buy people for Christmas). She's lost interest even in some of the home-based activities she used to do. She doesn't ask about the grandchildren in anything like the detail she used to.
Things just seem to be getting worse, and I don't know how to help. I think she might have the beginning of dementia - but equally she might 'just' have anxiety or depression. She goes to the GP quite a lot, but only about her physical health problems, which I suspect are exaggerated (or psychologically triggered). I've tried to suggest gently to both her and dad that she speaks to the GP more broadly about how she's feeling, but I just get shut down - I suspect they both perhaps fear that they're not going to like the answer, and assume there's nothing that could be done.
I don't see them often enough, due to work and distance, so it's hard to get a real sense of what's happening behind closed doors. I suspect my dad is masking the extent of the problem, and I also fear that his life has become pretty difficult and frustrating, but I just don't know what else to do. I've considered contacting her GP myself, but I'm worried it might backfire if they found out.
Does anyone have similar experiences or advice?