DPs still live in semi lockdown

[SilverGlitterBaubles]

Anyone's DPs still struggling to emerge to normality and still living in fear of Covid and any other virus they might hear about? Both are fit and in good health.

I think for some people it's a great excuse not to socialise, visit relatives or host anyone in their own home. My MIL is like this,doesn't want to leave her house, host any relatives and is quite happy to be on her own just chatting on the phone once a week. At Christmas she always has an illness so she doesn't have to join in. It's sad but she's too old to change.

3 people out of how many, given most people have had it.

Ah, of course! thank you.

I’m in the camp of having lost patience with such people, which I appreciate is hard when it’s close family.

I think the 'victims' of covid go far beyond those who've died or developed long covid.

Those who've been stuck waiting months for NHS treatment when they'd have otherwise been treated/cured.

Those whose mental health was shattered by the barrage of bad news and isolation.

Those who took every scrap of scaremongering journalism to heart & are now terrified to live normally.

It's incredibly sad to read that people who are vaccinated and otherwise fine locking themselves away

Equally so many lives are being ruined by the fear, anxiety and clinging to every negative scare story in the media. People have lost the ability to asses risk. Imagine not seeing your own family and grandchildren because you think they are vectors of disease. What kind of life is that?

@PoinsettiaPosturing I agree the fallout is real

Two of my elderly relatives are still very cautious, but TBH they are both frail and have spent quite enough time in hospital already - I can see they wouldn't want to risk adding to that.

On top of which, I have an immunocompromised (kidney transplant recipient) friend who DID catch COVID and between those two risk factors, BINGO they suffered a very nasty stroke and now consider it a huge achievement that they can walk 100 metres on the flat.

So I don't mind meeting outside, testing before meeting inside, wearing masks if not tested. Also, I had COVID this summer and I'm still not right. COVID can really suck. I have one friend who will only "eat out" with us outdoors - but he has v frail parents that he's keen not to bump off, so, you know, I get that.

It is really sad when people restrict their lives in ways which add nothing to their safety. TBH some PSAs which say what does and doesn't help protect you, are well overdue.

Can you suggest some sensible precautions/risk assessments so they could do some things without going too far outside their comfort zone?

I'm still taking some precautions - I mask on public transport and at church (as elderly/vulnerable people there) and don't go to overcrowded places - although I do use trains and the tube so can be hard to avoid.
The trouble is, you don't know how Covid will go if you do get it. We're all fully vaccinated and boosted. DH was CEV until jabbed and we shielded for 18 months until then. We've also all since had Covid - he barely noticed he was ill, I was ill for six weeks. I will, undoubtedly, catch it again, but I will try to limit that where possible. I have a couple of friends end up with long Covid after being healthy, fit and well before getting it. One has had to change career as she can no longer work as a teacher. My work, science-based, has a similar approach and provides LFTs free for staff and encourages testing for any symptoms and then not working on site if positive.

We generally go with meeting up at the level of the person who is most vulnerable. So I'm happy to meet people inside, but prefer well-ventilated spacious places than crammed cafes. Some of my friends are more cautious than that so I meet them outside.

Can you not remember what it was like for elderly people? We were told that we were at the highest risk, with a real risk of death. And at the same time we were told that we wouldn’t get an ICU bed because they were being saved for the young and fit. We were basically on our own.

I’m back to normal, but even so, my perception of the delights of packed out concerts and crowded restaurants has changed.

Those who took every scrap of scaremongering journalism to heart You include government scientific advisers in that?

An old friend of mine (in her late 70s) hasn't left the house since early 2020. Before this she was meeting friends for lunch, going shopping, theatre etc.

No life at all, surely it would be better to face her fear of covid than live like that.

Apart from her, everyone else I know is completely back to normal. Covid is never mentioned and life goes on, thankfully.

I suspect there were a fair few people with the equivalent of "long Covid" pre pandemic (caused by other viruses) but there was no publicity.

I had swine flu badly in 2010 but recovered fully. I read an interview with a poor woman recently who didn't. But because it was a tiny minority it wasn't news.

Anyway, OP, I think all you can do is be adaptable and encouraging, but you can't force anyone to behave in ways they don't want to. Who knows at this stage whether it's fear, habit, etc.

I felt nervous about going back to my teaching job in September 2020 (plus train and tube commute) but it was amazing how quickly it all felt normal again. But sometimes you need that push factor. The retired don't really have that unless they've got e g. a hobby they really miss.

Yes, have only recently met up for the first time in 3 years. They lived in their own little bubble and I immediately noticed the mental toll it’s taken.
It was a huge act of courage for one of them in particular but after the (small, family) event, they were so glad that they had made it. They have since been out to shops, NT property and I’m hopeful that their isolation is over once and for all.

This makes me so sad to hear...

Do they understand that social isolation is a risk in itself?

Posting this not to show your DP as maybe a bit scary but in case it helps you to know some stats.

www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/lonely-older-adults.html

Yes, there's always been people who've been permanently affected by a virus but very little awareness of it - they're often at home, very little energy, not the energy to make a song or dance about it even if they wanted to.
I know two people with ME, both after having a viral infection. One is housebound and has to have 24/7 carers. She is very very cautious about who she sees. The other isn't as badly affected but isn't able to work full time or commute, plus has a lot of time off sick (any cold lasts for ages) so has had to make huge life changes to accommodate that.

@clementinejuiceforxmas Thank you for the link, that is exactly my concern the mental toll of isolation and lack of stimulation.

Not my elderly relatives but I know people near my own age, one in early 50s another in their early 60s who are still living in semi lockdown.
Such is the power of state sponsored brain washing.
I do include government advisors in that, any risks needed to be looked at in context, and they weren't.

I have friends who are still locked down. They were not CEV or even CV, but they now have all shopping delivered and the only person they have seen face to face since early 2020 is their DD who lives alone and WFH. The decline in physical and mental health is visible and shocking, but I'm not expecting any change

Yes, my partners' parents are still incredibly careful. Both are quite vulnerable clinically and in their mid 80s

Imo he's a bit passive about nudging them into doing more. But also, yes there's still some risk, it's still a really unpleasant virus but at least now we have treatments and vaccinations and a much closer understanding of how to manage the disease. I can't blame anyone in their position for not wanting to catch it, but in general there really is only one way forward and that's to grasp life and accept some risk.

It wasn’t the advisors’ job to look at context, it was the politicians’ job. But politicians were in an unknown situation so not surprising they leant on advisors.

I have an early 30s friend who's still very much in lockdown.

She won't go into the office for work, she won't go in any shops without a serious mask. She won't meet friends inside for anything. Still gets her shopping delivered.

Her husband is working out the house and commuting.

They've flown a few times as all their family are abroad. But then she's isolated for 2 weeks before going just in case.

It's sad really as she just can't seem to shake it off.

That is so sad to hear in a young person. There is a lot of mixed thinking here about risk management if that is what she is trying to do especially isolating before flying and her DH is commuting.