What happens when Attorneys don't agree?

[lemonscent]

Background is DP's parents are in their 90s, both have various health problems including dementia. Both still living at home with care from their children as well as paid-for care. All three of the children have both kinds of PoA. It seems likely that mil's care needs will increase in the near future. The siblings disagree about how to approach this.

Is there a way to resolve these kinds of issues? Could 2 of the siblings do something, e.g. move mil to residential care, if the other sibling is opposed to it? Could dp be held responsible if the other siblings did something that was unethical/unlawful?

Even though the sibling relationships are strained, up until now they have managed to reach some kind of compromise.

I know of two close instances … one where 2 Bros didn’t want to send their DM into a care home and wanted their DSis to step up. The relationship between siblings in tatters. The DSis is holding firm. Extra carers at the moment. In the other, two siblings wanted to send DM to care home. The third one said,no, and had obviously promised their DM they wouldn’t . Took another six months before resistant sibling accepted it was best option. Took yet another six months for it to actually happen. Had to wait for a fall in house and ambulance call out.

It depends entirely on how the power or attorney is written. If all the siblings have to agree, then one of them always has a veto if they don't agree. If it's a majority, then two to one will 'win' and get the decision made. It's a legal status, so it has to be done by the book, otherwise the other attorneys can complain to the Office of the Public Guardian. It can be a sticky situation.

If there is no agreement, it sometimes does take a crisis to force a resolution to placing of an elderly vulnerable person into a care home. And no one would choose to to put their aged parent through a crisis like a broken bone through a fall, or a house fire, or a car accident, or a burglary etc.

The terminology is 'jointly' (all of them) or 'severally' (individually). Some decision may be joint, and some severally.

Please excuse typos

It partly depends on what the options are. For example, one sibling can't decide that the other sibling should provide all the care, and therefore not get carers in. (I've seen people try that, though)

It's a best interest decision, so it isn't about what anyone wants-it's about what will give each parent the best and safest quality of life.

“Severally” doesn’t mean “majority”, it means individually, so any one attorney can make a decision, and doesn't have to involve the other two.

obviously “jointly and severally “ is a bad choice if the attorneys are going to disagree, but it is immensely more convenient for everyday management, eg having to get everyone’s signature before withdrawing £50 for a food shop. But as Tallisker says, it may have been set up so that some decisions are joint, and some jointly and severally.

It's a best interest decision, so it isn't about what anyone wants-it's about what will give each parent the best and safest quality of life. Yes. Everything you do as an attorney has to be in the donor’s interest, not yours.

2 Bros didn’t want to send their DM into a care home and wanted their DSis to step up.

Wow! Stunning entitlement! 😮

Thanks for your responses. I will tell DP to have a look at the wording of the PoA documents.

I understand it's a best interest decision, but 'best' is a judgement. All the siblings love their parents and would say they want what's best for them, but have different opinions.

It's a sad situation all round. MIL's quality of life is terrible. FIL's is only marginally better.

I said exactly the same thing.

Absolutely shocking behaviour from the brothers.

As above it depends how it is written.

If they have to agree jointly, they should be thinking of what the parents would want faced with this set of circumstances, not what they personally want for their parents. They should also be realistic about what help is on offer, not just make big statements like 'I'd never put mum in a home'

Ultimately it can go to the Court of Protection for a judge to decide.