If your parent has (paid for) care at home what do they do?

[Honeyroar]

My 82 year old mother has a care firm send carers in for an hour on weeknights. It costs over £35 a day for an hour’s care. They do very light housework and give her her evening meal. But it’s only defrosting something I’ve already cooked or giving her a ready meal. I thought they’d do more of the cooking, but they don’t. They often forget to put bins out on bin days. I’d give them 6/10 overall. Now mum’s starting to mix up her tablets so I’ve asked the carers to take the daily medicine compartment for each day out of the main medicine dispenser each night and leave it on the table so she can’t get confused which she needs to take. . ( I’ve already preloaded the dispenser with her medicine for the week). They say they’re not allowed to touch the medicine and can’t do that. Im not asking them to open it or give them to mum, so don’t really understand.

So I’m going to have to go down each evening and check she’s had her meds, along with still cooking all her meals and doing her shopping. Im starting to think it’s barely worth having them. Plus it’s very expensive and we could do with cutting costs a bit. She likes the company, but I feel like we could have a cleaner twice a week and a hairdresser once a week, plus I’d be popping in.

It would be better if we could find a private carer, have any of you done this?

I guess I’m just interested in what others do.

Anyone can set up shop as a carer - many do.

You don’t need any qualifications, a CRB, safety checks or an employment record. Or references.

Reassuring, isn’t it. (Same with nannies - child minding needs a licence, nannies don’t.)

Agencies might ask for refs but freelance is better paid. Bluebird agency is good. Care isn’t at all badly paid unless you’re working for a rip-off boss, incidentally.

There’s no training either - most people can work a toaster. Or put out a bin.

Home Instead is a franchise and hence the difference in price (32 in my area, 36 in yours) and presumably what they will do. That said, on the what they do, HI have communication documents for family or they did in the area my parent is in. If you go on the website, you will see the range of things they do is pretty broad (or meant to be). What did they say when you initially signed up with them? I had an introductory meeting in my parents home and we went over the tasks we wanted. My parent left HI as they changed times at late notice a few times or cancelled. This was a major problem for me as I coordinated a supermarket delivery with the carer being there to put it away (parent isn’t mobile enough). The issue is that there are too few carers. None of my Mums have been young (not that that necessarily means they aren’t good). They did all the things I mentioned including taking the rubbish out.

re: private carers - I think it’s a bit like choosing a child minder versus sending a child to nursery. If you find an individual your parent clicks with and who is reliable, great, I get why you’d stick with them. I personally prefer the bigger company as it’s down to them to make arrangements if a staff member leaves/is sick, policies and procedures can be clearer and I prefer more than one person popping in and seeing how my parent is - it feels more accountable. It’s personal preference as who would turn down a terrific carer who is self employed?

maybe adjust your expectations on the meds and the meals (sandwich/soup/ready meal) and pursue them on the bin emptying and the light housework? Take a look on their websites/ any literature you left and see what task they say they do. Also, you may be right about the carer being on their phone, but they also fill out an app; any chance they were doing that?

Is the medication listed on her MAR chart, and is it listed as being in dosette?

Sorry - I should have said HI had an app to list the things you wanted done plus you can see what was done, not sure if every franchise uses it? We used HI for just over a month and it went up three times in that period. Nightmare.

Absolutely all of that is false.

That's just not true.

DBS, first aid and insurance is a basic requirement.

To give medication more training is needed. Ditto personal care.

It's not a simple as walking into someone's house and knowing what to do.

Plus you need to know how to run a business

You are better off with a PA than a carer.

It’s £32 now but going up from December. We did have an initial visit from the agency but I can’t remember what was said. It was 18 months ago. Light housework (which they do fine) and evening meals, plus company.

Yes I might have to reassess my expectations or just go back to doing more myself. I need to have a think.

My mum has a live in carer , she does everything

Have a look at this website for private but vetted carers

Www.Curam care.co.uk

I recently found it and it looks great but we have a carer through an agency which is extortionate but mum loves her so 🤷‍♀️

i guess @Supersimkin2 is referring to informal carer arrangements eg where the nice lady next door steps up, the cleaner increases their scope of duties, a relative knows a friend of a friend of a friend… no training, no insurance, no dbs

I've just found a private carer for my DH by asking for recommendations on NextDoor. I think this has a lot of benefits over going through an agency, where they may not be as accommodating. Local Facebook groups might be another option.

When I was working in the community, the carers were allowed to give the meds if they were in a sealed blister pack prepared by the pharmacist. We tried to ensure that all our house bound patients had blister packs, but it did take a bit of organising.
Otherwise, we had the silly situation of the carer going in but having to find a neighbour/friend/relative to give the medication.
It would be worth asking the GP if a blister pack could be organised, IF the local policy is that the carer could work with that.

Wow! Curram care start at £13 an hour, average £16, and this includes over 12% fee + VAT to curram. What about holiday pay, national insurance, training, sick pay, petrol,
time for travel between jobs? I’m not naive but I genuinely hope that the £30+ spent with an agency results in more benefits to the carer than Curram seem to offer.

I would happily do most stuff when I worked as a carer but we were very time limited
30 min calls were often 25 mins allowing for travel time and in that I could have to do notes, meds, prepare a meal, drink, close the curtains, get pjs on, help change a pad...

we didn't do much housework but I would wipe kitchen sides down and sweep the floor type thing and put a bag in the outside bin
It definitely is a lot about who you click with and everyone has their strengths - mine was cooking and the ability to chat to anyone strangely as I am quite introverted but I would use my "carer personality"

We ended up having yo do an overhaul of my mums care. The agency cost a fortune, she never got the same person abd they wouldn't come,at the times,we needed them. In the end we had to end our contract.
We now employ 3 private carers. One has quals but the other 2 don't. I don't need them to handle mum. We do any personal care of showering and hairwashing twice a week. (Hairdresser comes once a month). We need them to feed mum, put her clothes out, (mum can dress herself), fed the dog and let him out. Empty bins put bins out bin day. Light cleaning round (we empty a,cleaner) water garden in summer (we empty a gardener) do laundry, give medication. They come 4 times a day for half an hour. They're fab. If they see something needs doing, they do it.
Your mum's needs change and any carers you have need to be able to change too. They work for you and if they're not ultimately making your life easier by you not having to go down there all the time, then it's pointless employing them.
Look on Indeed for ideas of costs and advertise locally.
Put cameras in your mums house so you can see what's happening. We never met a carer, private or agency, who objected to that, in fact it was a protection for them too.
It's a blinking nightmare, I know, but if you didn't provide a useful function for the company you work for, would they carry on employing you?

At night: serve a ready meal, chat over a cup of tea, shower, pyjamas, cream on feet, put to bed

Day: meals, chat, bit of laundry, be there when taking medicine.

We had good service first from HomeInstead.co.uk who provided daily carers and then countrycousins.co.uk for live in care.

They are agencies, though, so be be different in different areas.

It’s all true. I wish it wasn’t. Of course I’m
referring to informal arrangements; most eldercare arrangements are.

Anyone can call themselves a nanny or a carer - it’s up to agencies and/or families to ask to see if they’ve got any accreditation.

You don’t have to ask a teacher or a plumber the same. Just a tip, folks!

You could be putting arsenic tablets in for all they know (of course you aren't) but they and their company would be held responsible by the CQC should they inadvertently cause your mum harm or worse.
As others have said the pharmacy will prepare a sealed blister pack and even deliver. The carers will then be able to give her medication when they visit once it's been documented by the agency and added to the care plan.

This is interesting and useful to know. In my (limited) experience carers say “we’re not allowed to give meds” rather than explain there are circumstances in which they could give them.