Gifts to attorney - me!

[Hgak]

Hello

I have an LPA for my mother for property and financial affairs where I am the sole attorney. (My brother and I are joint for health and welfare).

In the leaflet that arrived with the registered LPA it say "You cannot make profits or benefit personally from acting for the donor - it's against the law".

I al getting married next month and my mum keeps asking me what we would like and whether we would like money. I know how much she wrote a cheque for for my cousin who got married last year but, if I'm her attorney, would I be breaking the law if I arrange for the same amount to be transferred to STB DH and I?

She has also asked what we would like for Christmas. I know how much she has always spent in the past and the guidance says this is fine as long as you don't spend differently from the donor. Am I allowed to include myself in her typical spending on gifts? Before we had the LPA I had done her online banking with her for years as she disliked it so I do know all her spending habits.

I know she wants to give me/us presents but I really don't want to be accused of trying to defraud my mum! Or am I overthinking this?

This is another question where I don't know but would like to know the answer! I don't have LPA but I do have access to mum's bank account as I did all her banking for her for years before there was any thought of cognitive decline. She is now in a home with dementia. We don't mention birthdays or Christmas presents to her because that makes her upset if she thinks she has forgotten but she is aware that my daughter is getting married "soon" - next year. Mum doesn't have a lot in savings - around 3K - but she keeps saying "I want the kids to have what they want at the wedding!" And she reminds that she has saved the money for them. However I don't know if I can use any of that money as a present from her. At one point she told me that she had been trying to phone the Cathedral so see if she could book it for the wedding - something my SiL to be had fantasised about - and she wants to pay for it. I know if she was with it every penny would be given to my daughter as she did with her other grandchildren but I don't know if it would be allowed now.

My husband has poa for his parents. His mum wanted to give us something for our wedding last year so he drafted a letter that she signed saying she was gifting £xx to us for our wedding and filed it with his poa documents

We are in the midst of something with LPA and it's become v messy. Firstly, have you registered the poa with the bank? Secondly, it's fine to receive gifts providing you have something in writing and record it under poa, otherwise it can be classed as a debt against the estate. Presumably your brother is aware of the possible gift?

Thank you! A letter which mum signs is a good idea - she keeps apologizing for not getting me a birthday present but she did (she paid for a manicure in person).

I have just registered it with her bank - I'd previously been helping her with online banking anyway but she's now reached a state of decline where I'm just not comfortable with doing that anymore. My brother is definitely aware of the gift, we're also only taking about £150 and asking him and my aunts and cousins to go in with mum to get us a new kitchen table.

im actually slightly more worried now about when I have to pay myself back for things each week like her food shopping! I have a spreadsheet where I work out what each of my mum and future MIL's shopping cost so hopefully that should be sufficient record of that and I'll make sure to amend the reference each time and hope that will be sufficient!

It sounds like you’re being very honest and upfront (my SIL could learn a few things from you!) and the key really is to keep very accurate records and receipts to show every transaction which can then be backed up by statements.

Hope you have a lovely wedding when the time comes! 😊

The bank should provide you with your own debit card for her account so that you can use it to do her shopping etc. You can give money for presents and wedding gifts as long as not too much different to what she would have given in the past. Guidelines here: www.gov.uk/government/publications/public-guardian-practice-note-gifts/public-guardian-practice-note-pn7-giving-gifts-web-version