MIL going downhill fast. What else can we try?

[PauliString]

(DH and I have Covid and aren’t at our brightest right now.)

MIL is late 80s and lives alone. Until a month ago she was denying any need for help. Actually, she wasn’t going out at all and DH and BIL were alternating weekends to buy food and clean for her.

She has obvious growing memory problems and confusion. She’s on a long waiting list for memory clinic, another for thyroid, a waiting list for social care needs assessment and OT(?) and yet another for cancer referral.

We finally got some carers to start last week doing two visits a day (despite her). But she’s got so much worse this week, falling and spending all night on the floor, doubly incontinent, can’t now get in or out of bed herself. Social services say not their job to be an emergency service. GP said call 111. BIL called 111 who sent an ambulance who said she wasn’t bad enough for hospital. Care agency overstretched. We’re hours away (and ill).

She hasn’t had any medical assessment of the rapid deterioration. We’re told it could be months. But she can’t feed herself, keep clean, get to the loo, get dressed, answer the phone or pull her own pants on. Who/what do we try next?

Was the appointment at the GP yesterday @PauliString?

Is there any news?

Is that medical, social services or council for urgent services, Peekachoochoo?

Thanks for asking, PritiPatelsMaker. Trina out what they’d been told was to ring in the morning to ask for a phone appointment, which they didn’t get.

BIL says he used the words urgent and safeguarding with the gp receptionist, but basically got a telephonic shrug of ‘there isn’t anything we can do as there aren’t any appointments, bye now’. And now he has Covid too, predictably enough.

The current carers are going to up their time to 1.5 hours. That’s the best we’ve managed so far.

DH and I hoping to be ok to drive (and think straight) in next few days - been a bit flattened for past week or two.

Urgent service is NHS. There should be a rapid response community team if she is falling and at high risk of being hospitalised as a result.

Long term services are provided by the Council so that will be looking at her needs and keeping her independent at home.

Right, thanks

You will have to fight like mad to get social services to do anything I'm afraid.

She probably needs to move to assisted living or a care home.

Call 111 again. She has an infection of some kind, hasn’t been assessed, is deteriorating, may require antibiotics, likely to be an emergency admission if not treated and this is preventable.

I think she’d benefit immensely from a move though she’s always been very against it.

BIL says she got up independently today (hurray!) before the carer arrived and he’s wondering how much can be put down to Covid this past two weeks.

You will have to fight like mad to get social services to do anything I'm afraid

That was my experience too. When we've had various oldies in Hospital I've had to ring SWs and Discharge Clerks everyday.

Call 111 again. She has an infection of some kind, hasn’t been assessed, is deteriorating, may require antibiotics, likely to be an emergency admission if not treated and this is preventable

Totally agree. If someone is with her they need to write down her symptoms and call 111. If she gets sorted through then it will be a lot less confusing for her than a Hospital admission.