So conflicted

[Thighdentitycrisis]

I have a complicated background with DM
who is now 85 living alone with dementia. she has carers in four times daily since breaking her hip.

She left our DF when we were very young and went off the rails somewhat. There was disrupted attachment and trauma due to her behaviour. I’m the youngest and have had a few periods of non contact over the years. The most recent of these ended when she fell and was in hospital. Since then I have been back on board to help my sibling out but have got more and more embroiled.

At the moment I find her depression, anxiety and self pity so draining, I feel like stepping away again. But paradoxically, have a meeting with Social Care manager tomorrow to complain about her care plan and assessment being unsatisfactory.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here just need to get it out there. She never really put my needs first I suppose and has acted selfishly all my life

Totally get how you are feeling. Having to care for someone who didn't provide the care for you when you needed it is awful and can give you very conflicting feelings.

Have you ever had any Counselling? I found it very helpful. DM is very infuriating but it's helped me keep my boundaries up. Basically anything I ever do is not enough and wrong.

I understand why you'd want to help your siblings out though.

@PritiPatelsMaker
thanks for replying and for understanding
I have had lots of therapy and counselling over the years but and made some progress in understanding my difficulties with relationships. Not really focused on what I think about her.
recently got access to her medical history and see she has personality disorder listed. I will only feel free of her once this is over.

I will only feel free of her once this is over.

I understand that too