My Mum’s been in hospital two days

[TraceyGerbil]

And nobody has called to tell me. She was discharged with carers late last week, spoke to the carers and it all seemed to be going OK, apart from her being “a little confused.” Couldn’t get hold of her at all yesterday, friend with key went round and said she wasn’t there. I called the hospital and finally got through to someone who told me she had been admitted (and it must have been just after I spoke to her). They couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me why.

The carers have my number and I’ve spoken to them regularly. Why couldn’t they have called me to let me know she was going back in? Or why didn’t the hospital let me know?

Have you contacted the carers? Why won't the hospital tell you what's going on?

Are you listed as her next of kin? Has she told them not to contact you?
(Hospital and Carers)

Hospitals won’t tell you anything about another person’s condition these days. Even if you are the next of kin. I think you would have to provide proof of Power of Attorney. They would only phone you if she asked you to. Carers are underpaid and very busy and wouldn’t necessarily see it as their job to let you know.

Quite rightly, patient confidentiality is extremely important. The hospital may not have permission to contact you.

That isn’t true re POA / hospitals not giving out information, especially with a vulnerable elderly person who is “confused”. We have been through this with FIL in 2021 and now MIL who is currently in hospital. When she was first admitted we had trouble getting info because it took them almost 24 hours t process her and get her to a ward and it’s almost impossible to get info from A&E because they’re so over worked. As soon as she was on a ward we had no trouble getting basic info and neither did SIL.

She may still be stuck in A and E waiting for a bed. It took over 24 hours for me to get a bed earlier this year and longer than that for my brother to be allocated a bed. Once she's on a ward you may have a better chance

She’s finally on a ward and I spoke to the nurse in charge, who was lovely and helpful, and apologised for not letting me know she had been admitted. The ward she was on yesterday was a sort of halfway house between A & E and the ward, but she will stay where she is now until she is discharged. Nurse said there had been no sign of confusion since she arrived on the ward.

When mum was in hospital for 3 weeks recently we had access to everything and were able to make decisions etc. The GP called us and the paramedics called us as soon as they said they would admit her, as we have paperwork in place for that to happen (Anticipatory Care Plan). We immediately contacted the ward nurses and sent the LPoA so we were then in position to deal with all the decisions.

They are hoping that she will come home this week with carers four times a day. Latest turn of events: she’s just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

Oh no, I'm so sorry.

It seems to vary between hospitals.

MIL has been in and out of hospital several times this year and the staff at our local hospital seem to think we are utterly unreasonable and mad to be anxious to find out how she is, and rather presumptuous to expect to be called with any information at all.

She is very frail with a poor heart, has severe Alzheimer’s and in addition is now suffering from hypoactive delerium so is in no position to ask for anything.

I don’t want to apportion blame but I am horrified at how awful it is dealing with the NHS if you have elderly relatives - it’s a hundred times worse than when I went through this with my mum pre-Covid.

I’m a bit stunned by the diagnosis. She’s been constantly calling her GP for months, complaining of breathlessness and chest pain. They haven’t deemed her worthy of one of their rare in person appointments, but have simply delivered vast quantities of paracetamol (there are around 2000+ tablets in her house) with Tramadol if it gets worse. She had a chest x ray a few weeks ago when she ended up in A& E for something completely unrelated, as she was breathless, where they diagnosed fluid on the lungs, which has just been removed. The cancer was visible on this x ray, according to the hospital (her GP said it was pleurisy), and they gave her a scan to see better.

My father died from lung cancer, also undiagnosed by the GP surgery, who also gave him an endless supply of paracetamol. He died six weeks after diagnosis. We complained to the GMC at the time, who admitted that some errors may have been made, but said that the outcome would have been the same, regardless.