Not able to self fund care home?

[Intheora]

DF 95 lives at home with a mix of family & private carers. Can just about stand with assistance and is pushed around his bungalow in a wheelchair. He has vascular dementia, has pads for double incontinence and sleeps most of the day. He has excellent care & his physical needs are really well met. But he is having increasing periods of anxiety when he says he wants to move to a care home where he will feel less alone (previously always wanted to stay at home & still says this too sometimes).
Do social services have an obligation to find him a care home place based on emotional/mental health criteria if he is physically well cared for at home? (He has about 2500/month to contribute, no property & savings < £5k.)
I'm worried that with the pressure on social care he will be a low priority for a care home place & we should be thinking more creatively about how to meet non physical needs at home.

There’s no doubt he needs care so I don’t image he will be told he has to stay at home, isolated & anxious, just because he currently has carers & family attending, especially if it is affecting his MH. I would contact them for assessment.
www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/care-needs-assessment/

www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/financial-assessment-means-test/

The trouble is even if there is an obligation even if there is a pressing need for him to be in a care home there may not be a space. My mum was in a rehab centre from July until the end of October waiting for a place in a suitable home. There was a list of people needing places and she had to wait her turn.

Thanks. As is the way with these things he has changed his mind again & says he does not want to go & live in a care home anymore. I think we will perhaps make contact with social services & ask for an assessment anyway in case he starts asking again.

Some care homes allow booked respite care ie 1 month a year for a small daily fee.

I'd certainly get the ball rolling if there's likely to be a wait

Get the ball rolling. Get a list of homes that SS will fund that will meet his needs do you can visit and decide on preferences. We were lucky and the one we liked had a space for MIL just in the nick of time but they had no spaces when DH viewed. He can always decide not to take a place if one becomes available. BUT people in critical situations like MIL or waiting to come out of hospital will take priority so it could be a long wait. When dad died in hospital the man in the next bed had been waiting 5 weeks ago a place so he could be discharged.

Keep him at home he sounds like he has a brilliant set up, don't risk that. Care homes are lonely places too. According to my elderly father (in a sweeping generalisation admittedly) all elderly people are lonely and after an activity or outing or conversation they feel much the same as they did before. He'll be anxious because he's facing his own mortality (over the next decade) and so find out what the worries are and what he might need.

I think I would try to work out what he means when he says he wants a care home 'where he won't feel lonely'. Those feelings of distress won't necessarily be fixed by a different environment, especially with dementia.

Has his GP considered whether he might be depressed? Medication might be a better way of approaching it?

My Dad was feeling lonely (in a nursing home) and I seriously considered lending him the furry elephant my mother made me to take to uni - he was very comforting, just the right size to cuddle round. There are some very realistic “robo-cats” who purr and roll over in response to stroking, but you’d have to consider battery life - having your cat “die” repeatedly isn’t much good for you!

Really? We were quoted 1,300 a week for residential respite care. I'd love to find respite for a nominal fee but it seems unlikely.

Respite last summer was £90 a day, not nominal but not £1300 a week either. Like everything else it depends where in the country you live (edge of S Yorks)

Residential? Was it basically LA funded so you were topping up?

Residential and that was the full price as mum was self funding. I have no idea how it can be less than £700 a week but it was.

Hi op, has he not been assessed for carers to come in and care for him at home? At his age he'd be entitled to this and no client contribution is required. Social work would come and do an assessment if you say you can no longer continue it alone yourselves. If you are happy to continue you may also be able to get respite funding to allow you all to have a break. This is usually the first thing social work would look to do before care at home but with a patient with vascular dementia who may well need full time care soon they'd most certainly consider a care home and they would carry out a full financial assessment to see what his contribution would be.

How about daycentres a couple of times a week? Or a PA to visit and / or take him out in his wheelchair?

@Lochjeda
You're mistaken . Charging policies apply whether care at home or in a care home - OP's already explained he has high income (which is why he's self funding for his carers)

@Intheora
Not an obligation, it's an assessment a professional opinion by social worker. But
Yes , quite likely given those circs would consider dementia registered residential care home if he were asking for this at the time- as mental well-being needs are important too and he has significant care support needs already.

But your update is that he's decided he wants to stay home - so if you refer him now for assessment , he'll be asked (when screening request), he'll say 'no Thank-you, I'm happy at home' and case will be closed.

They're good at signposting and giving advice too, so be upfront that he is vacillating between wanting to go into residential care and to stay home, currently is leaning towards staying home, so what else can they give you info/ advice on as he is lonely and anxious as well

Have you considered day service? Or is he too tired/ fatigued? Prior to covid for very frail people sometimes used day club service available in some residential homes (can pay privately eg once a week for, same as other day centre of self funding) . Useful for so many reasons. But that stopped in pandemic
Not sure how many homes have reopened those - look in care home's website