Court of Protection - any experiences?

[rhetorician]

So my mum is 88 and clearly has dementia, although we've no diagnosis. She was admitted to hospital last Tuesday (Sainsbo delivery man called ambulance - hero) after a fall (we think). This is her 4th admission in about a year - all fall related. Each time they say she has capacity, discharge her with a care package which she dismisses. Anyhow, this time there seems to be clear consensus that she is not safe to be at home without support - finally (GP saw her in July, thought she was fine; social care team saw her in August, nothing to see here - I had just been home for the weekend, so house was orderly etc).

Anyway, all that aside, they won't discharge her until she agrees to care, and she won't, so they are going to do a capacity assessment next week, which will then (assuming they decide she cannot make her own decisions) open the way to my making an application to become a court appointed deputy (she wouldn't agree to POA even though I raised the issue repeatedly from her 80th birthday on). Does anyone have any experience of how long this takes or what is involved? I assume it's straightforward - I am her only child - actually only living relative - so no-one else would have an interest in her affairs.

This is all the more difficult because I don't live in the UK (a flight away) and am trying to manage all this around my job, partner's job and my kids.

@rhetorician can’t offer any advice, but know what its like to be an only child living at a distance from mum. Only a few hundred miles in the UK, but juggling visiting with a job and family was difficult. Clearing my mother’s house when she went into care also. The guilt of not being there was sometimes unexpectedly overwhelming. Take care of yourself.

Hi @rhetorician I had a very similar issue with my DM, in that although we both live in the UK, she lives 5 hours from me, and refused to give me a poa because she was “so smart”.

Applying for the deputyship wasn’t too bad - it took about 6 months. With regards to you being overseas, I suggest you give the CoP enquiry line a call - I have found them to be incredibly helpful.

I’d also suggest getting to know who at the hospital is on the complex needs discharge team for your DM, particularly the social worker. I was very lucky that the social worker was lovely and really helpful, and can guide you through the process.

The council put a funding arrangement in place while we applied for deputyship, as we had no access to mum’s accounts - basically a loan of the care home costs until the deputyship order came through.

Im glad you’ve separately found the “cockroach cafe” because I found dealing with the emotional side of the process incredibly hard. My DMs “best interests” were, and still are, the exact opposite of what she thinks she wants. Good luck

We were turned down by the COP for a great aunt, but worked with her solicitor to help manage her finances. There wasn’t really any other choice.