Palliative care at home...what to expect

[AnSionnachGlic]

My 81 year old mother lives alone, and in last 4 years has been diagnosed with heart failure, pulmonary hypertension and pulmonary fibrosis. She has 2 hrs day home help and has been relatively independent. However over last 6 months she has been gradually loosing weight ( now 6 stone), has limited mobility due to fatigue and increasing breathlessness. She has a very positive attitude. Today at her check up and clinic, the consultant stated that it is time for her to be under care of Palliative care team, as her prognosis is poor. I am an only child and live nearby ( 4 teenage/older kids), and I'm shocked at this recommendation. Has anyone any experience of what this entails and how to wrap my head around it. My mother is very accepting of it as she is anxious to stay at home and as my dad died 6 years ago, she says he's waiting for her! I'm not so ready for this . She is still up and dressed daily ( by carers) is completely on the ball, loves reading and watching TV and keeps up to date with family matters/news. I'm sorry for such a long post....not sure what I'm looking for🙁

Aw , that is sad. So sorry you have to face this, without siblings to share it.
I have been through similar with a parent.
Palliative care means that they are not actively trying to cure or fix the issue; the focus shifts to ensuring your DM has quality of life, so it does not in itself mean an imminent end.
In my case that mean ensuring my mum was pain free; had the physical aid she needed - hospital bed, commode, showering aids , and carers. She was given food supplements like ensure. She had regular GP visits and the nurses came to take observations and adjust meds as needed.
In the very late stages she was bed bound, and the nurses took over the care , cleansing, meds.
My siblings and I were very involved in the care side at first - washing her, doing her hair , feeding her etc, but as she became more bed bound, our involvement really became keeping her company and being alert to any needs.
In our case the diagnosis was terminal cancer, and the palliative care was in place for about 2 months.
My mum passed away at home as she had wished, and to the best of my knowledge was free of pain, and as comfortable as we & the medics could make her.
It’s one of the hardest things we have to face, OP and I am so sorry 💐 for you and your mum.

My experience with palliative care is that they make sure the patient is as comfortable as possible.
As pp, for us it was making they had the correct (high) painkillers, food supplements, adjustments for bath and basically whatever they needed to give them the best and most comfortable time they had left.
The staff that work in palliative care are Angels. I'll never forget my dads nurses.

Sorry for your going through this

Thank you so much for your replies...really appreciate it. I really feel so much alone. My mum is so resigned to the process which in some way makes it hard for me who doesn't want her to be gone!. We already have morning and evening help in place who dress/shower/ undress her. I have noticed in last few weeks that she has lost even more weight, and is extremely tired . She goes for a rest every afternoon which is new for her and is breathless even with talking. Hopefully the palliative care team will give her relief but it is hard to get my head around.