Finding a Nursing Home

[AuntieN]

Mum needs nursing care. Is there any easy way of finding out which homes have beds? I am really hoping that it isn't a case of ringing around each one in turn...

We are self funding so social services have stepped away.

You’re best to just ring round them, and then visit every single one you think might be a possible.

A friend is going through this just now and is finding that despite the care manager giving her a weekly list of homes with spaces, it’s out of date almost as soon as it’s printed.

Sorry you are having to deal with this, it’s ghastly.

Narrow down your options using the reviews on carehome.co.uk and then give them a ring/visit. I am afraid it’s frighteningly expensive so getting them to tell you the fees may rule some out.

Also - not a nice thing to say - but ask them their policy on what happens if the money runs out. There is a charity in my area that has a few homes and as long as you can guarantee 3-5 years of fees, they will not move your DP out if they run out of money. Some places will not accept the council level of payment when the money runs out and you can be forced to move your DP to wherever the council decides to get you a place.

Thanks both. Looks like ringing around. Good info on what happens when the money runs out too. They system is so broken...

Oh, and if you don’t know already you can apply for attendance allowance and ask the home what their policy is on Funded Nursing Care and if they think your DM will qualify. Some places will quote the fees assuming that they are going to claim FNC and in effect reduce the fees they quote by that amount. Other places charge full price and then refund you the FNC once they have received it. Others will quote you full fees, but they will charge a little bit less once FNC comes through if your DM is eligible. Also check what isn’t included - often places expect you to pay extra for toiletries, podiatry hairdresser etc.

If your DM has lost capacity you can get the DWP to pay her state pension directly to you, there’s a form to fill in. You will have to use it towards her fees.

That’s a very good point about asking about the money running out. Another friend of mine had a terrible experience when this happened-the home her dad was in couldn’t get him out of the door fast enough once the money ran out. It did come good in the end tho-it’s not all doom and gloom.

(I’m aware I’m speaking about friends’ experiences here, unfortunately I’ve also experienced both my parents having to go into homes due to dementia, but my most recent experience was with my dad and he passed away 2 years ago, and things with care have changed a lot in the last 2 years. I’m so sorry you’re having to Face this)

Some homes do dementia care and some do nursing care and some do both. Depending on what you actually need now bear that in mind. Also something I didn’t know was important turned out to be crucial with my mother was the chef. They had a full time chef, he didn’t have any other duties ( some homes have the carers do it). As my mother dementia got worse, eating and swallowing became an issue. The chef sat down with the occupational health team to work out food she could still eat that actually looked like food rather than blended mush. This was huge relief and she was still able to enjoy her meals .

Also check out the CQC website for the inspection reports

You could try Lottie.org. I’ve not used them.
I did use a similar service 6/7 years ago for mil. I cannot for the life of me remember their name, but they were a free one stop shop. They operated by taking a percentage from the care home I chose. I wasn’t charged if I didn’t go with one of their recommendations. Basically I informed them of mil and family needs and they did the scouting around for me.

We have just gone through this. A point to bear in mind is if you choose a pure nursing home you may have to move your Mum at a critical time. We chose one that did nursing care and end of life as well to avoid having to move her. We narrowed it down to two and went with the one with the nicest staff. Be warned there is a hard period of settling in and guilt. Good luck

Thanks for all your input everyone, there are some things here I hadn't thought of. The system is such a mess isn't it? Mum is distraught. She knows it isn't her kids "putting her in a home", but all the same she can't come to terms with the fact that she is bedridden and can't stay at home any longer. She needs round the clock support, and it isn't practical to have live in carers.

Don't forget to ask for personal recommendations - helped us narrow places down. We got a list of Social Services to start with

Like others have suggested - make sure you apply for attendance allowance and the nursing care funding to - can make a big difference.

I’m going through this right now and can’t even find anywhere with a vacancy ( South Devon ), at any price . In despair !

Start seeing if any have waiting lists you can join. Vacancies occur quite frequently, but don’t hang around long as the home wants the room being paid for asap.

Of course, if you follow redkoh’s suggestions, visiting will be time consuming and prohibitively expensive