Left side brain atrophy, memory loss, balance issues, is this the start of a catastrophe or just normal for 80?

[MyBottomDecides]

DM is 80 and has had 3 years of terrible stress and grief which would have taken its toll on anyone. She is in a more stable situation now and we can see more of how she is day-day.

She is experiencing memory gaps, some confusion, and some balance issues. Eg: waking up in the middle of the night while i was staying, thinking I'd left; not remembering familiar places and people. She's asking about areas of confusion in a very child-like way rather than tackling them, which seems more helpless than her life-long can-do persona. But at the same time, motivated to do projects, does a lot of exercise, self-sufficient, lives alone, socialises and manages.

She's had a health review with her doc and understands the findings to be that she has blood vessel constriction and atrophy on the left side of her brain. She's massively relieved to have an explanation.

I'd really like to have a better understanding of the implications of this. I don't know whether this is carotid artery or small blood vessel constriction, or whether it's in fact vascular dementia. Or normal aging for an 80 year old! I don't want to upset her with more probing questions.

If anyone has any insight, I would be most grateful.

Should add, of course, that I'm not looking for a diagnosis on the Internet, she has a doc for that... more for insights into whether others have been in this situation and its all unravelled fast / been stable for years; or experiences of best ways to support family members facing similar challenges. We live in different countries and I'm concerned to make any support offers needed in good time.

A hopeful bump

I have no advice but hope this bumps your thread x

It’s neither a catastrophe nor ‘normal’ for for 80.

I’ve seen most of the symptoms you describe in someone of a similar age after a stroke - but in that instance the stroke was the low point and with love and care the symptoms stabilised. I don’t know what the prognosis might be in your mother’s situation - from what you say it sounds as if she might not be able to live alone indefinitely.

(Catastrophic to me would suggest a sudden, rapid change from complete cognitive health to helplessness, which isn’t the case here. But the level of brain deterioration your mother is suffering isn’t an inevitable part of being 80.)

I hope someone else can offer concrete advice.

Thank you @Carrieonmywaywardsun

Yes you're right Grauch, I probably should have said the start of a catastrophe as even if this has more severe consequences than we've seen so far we're not there yet. I have wondered whether we missed a stroke - pandemic, isolation etc could have happened - but there isn't any evidence for it. I'm worried she might not get able to live alone for long - whether happiness or safety is the deciding I don't know - and whether she'll be able to make that call herself. I actually wonder whether the doctor has told her something more specific, and she just hasn't internalised it.

I’d try and ensure that she agrees you can speak to her doctor - get it in writing and then they can keep on file, and hopefully they will then loop you into discussions on future as well.

Good idea LarkRize. I have wondered about contacting her doc - again living in different countries I'm not as familiar with the medical system she's under but I could leave my contact details so that he can bring me in if necessary. I've offered to go with her for appointments and she always says it's not necessary.