How can I keep him warm?

[IDrinkCoffee]

DF (77) lives alone (with lots of help from family and friends) but is on state pension/pension credit/disability with no other income. He's got a 3 bed house and doesn't want to move as it's been the family home for 40+ years.

With soaring energy costs we're thinking ahead to winter and how to keep him warm! He spends most of his time in the living room and bedroom and says that as long as the living room is warm, he'll be fine as when he goes to bed, he gets under the covers. It seems pointless then to heat the whole house with central heating.

I've been looking into oil radiators and fan heaters but opinions/reviews are mixed. Some say they're cheap to run and some say they're not! Can anyone recommend an economical heater for a small room, probably 15ft by 15ft? The goal is to ensure he's toasty warm without having to pay a fortune!

It's disgusting this is even a concern for elderly people now

*talking to not taking to

You'd be surprised at what schemes each local borough council have for disabled and older residents in their area - check their websites or ring in - with his permission ofc

Honestly I don't know why you're not working on persuading him to move to a small, cosy flat rather than figuring out how to stop him freezing in a too-big house just because it was the family home (it clearly isn't anymore).

Mattress topper placed directly on top of the bed

Because he's 77 and this has been his home for 40+ years

Ofc he won't want to move, not yet... OP is absolutely right trying to help him make his home warmer and work with her dad as much as she can to see what is possible and works or doesn't work- until or unless he wants to move. Older people that move without being happy with move tends to fair statistically worse in health (morbidity and mortality research- ex research psychologist here)

A genuine oodie is the only thing that makes my mum warm. Not pretty…but effective.

A genuine oddie is the only thing that keeps my mum warm. Not pretty…but effective.

I guess we were thinking that an oil filled radiator might be more efficient/cheaper than running the central heating (even with radiators turned off elsewhere). To be honest, it's completely shocking that we live in a world where this is a consideration

you need to work out how many hours the electric radiator will be turned on and how many kwph it is using for cost

then compare this to gas usage for heating the two rooms

presently gas is much cheaper than electric, so you may find your calculations still have gas central heating as cheaper

Have you looked at grants for insulation?

I bought one off amazon for my children's room and it's brilliant. I have the heating off at night - it's set to 18 in the winter. It keeps the bedroom the perfect temp.

jack stonehouse oil filled radiator

www.amazon.co.uk/Jack-Stonehouse-Filled-Radiator-Black/dp/B01LZ8Z0VP/ref=sr_1_4?crid=9TAHZQAU6ZU1&keywords=jack+stonehouse+oil+filled+radiator&qid=1660098347&sprefix=oil+filled+radiator+jack%2Caps%2C75&sr=8-4

I've had it for a few years and haven't had any issues. Mine came with a simple remote which would also be good for him so he doesn't have to get up to turn it on

I was reading this thinking that an oodie was some weird Mumsnet shit like "naice" and I was really pushing me off. Now I've googled it and oh my I need to buy one.... but would need to remortgage (have they upped prices to take the piss out of this whole situation or always been so expensive) and also they don't ship until October, maybe Mumsnet bought them all

Wow my post didn't make sense. I'll go back to sleep

One thing to avoid is a traditional hot water bottle - an OT told me they advised against them for elderly people if using during the day rather than in bed, because the warmth around the central torso area could mean that extremities becoming cold could be missed. They also mentioned the risk of scalding. This latter happened to my mum, and it was a nasty burn. We use both the microwave heat pads now.

And having read this thread, I’m going to get my mum a heated throw! And maybe one for me too, for winter home working.

We use both the microwave heat pads now. But wouldn’t a heat pad have exactly the same issue as a hot water bottle of warm torso masking cold extremities?

@70billionthnamechange there are lots of non-oodie oldies. I got one for my son from Groupon. Fantastic quality but slow delivery. I got myself one from Amazon. Quality not quite as good as the Groupon one but still ok. All cheaper than oodie of course.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal I’ve lost the receipt for my mother so unfortunately I can’t exchange her for a more compliant model. If you have one, thank your lucky stars. There’s no persuading my mother of anything she doesn’t want to do. As I’ve said on here before, parental responsibility is only a thing between parent and child not adult child and parent.

Zestro, I said "working on",not "order him out", because I appreciate it's difficult but it's bloody ridiculous for everyone to be struggling to keep an older gentleman (because the OP said it's taking a lot of help from family and friends to keep him in his home) in a large house that he can't manage and can no longer afford to heat.

Frankly assuming that he can't have an adult discussion about other options is patronising. He could be really happy in a cosy supported living flat and everyone's lives would be a lot easier.

For all we know he might be desperate to move, but feels he has to hang on to the family home "for the kids."

I wouldn't know about your mother, as this thread isn't about her.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal I don’t dispute your logic re: moving however the OP clearly says that he doesn’t want to move? And in any case, moving house is a big job, one that often falls to the carer and one that is bigger than buying an oodie and an oil filed radiator. You rather imply that the OP (Honestly I don't know why you're not working on persuading…) needs to put their energy in to pursuing an outcome they’ve already said isn’t in scope. In my experience I have limited time and energy, as do many people, and pick my battles. Maybe the OP does the same? Or maybe they want to solve the immediate problem they can take action on?

All that is fair enough, and I get feeling overwhelmed.

Something to work on for next year, perhaps, as staying in that house doesn't sound like it's going to work long term and will only get harder for all involved.

Hmmm @ environmental reasons in this sort of case. I bet if someone else was paying his bill he'd turn the heating up.

Nope. He's a Buddhist and does live a very ascetic personal life. From observation, the core of the faith seems to be living however you like and ignoring the needs of your family, followed by long periods where you either go on retreat, or go and scrub the floors of monks and gurus, leaving your spouse to get on with it.

Draft excluders, genuine sheepskin rug by bed and chair/sofa, proper wool blankets (ideal if he likes a traditional bed). Soups, hot stews and casseroles, thermos of tea/coffee.

Thermal linings with heavy curtains or thermal blinds or thermal window film.

Focus on keeping one room heated - wherever he spends his time during the day and get bedroom warm for night.

Proper wool socks, jumpers, long johns/thermals.

You think we haven't? Of course we have! Ultimately he's an adult of sound mind and doesn't want the massive upheaval of moving elsewhere. On a day to day basis, he's coping pretty well with our support. He's made it clear that he won't move unless he really ran out of options.