Social worker recommendations-binding?

[superram]

We’ve had a care assessment and the social worker is going to recommend home care-some companionship/short term respite care as ‘my dad is happy to care for my mum’. However, my dad isn’t really happy and is coming to the end of the line in terms of what help he can offer. What happens if he says ‘I can’t cope anymore?’. It’s cheaper for ss for my dad to do the caring and him die first. I have poa and think my mam needs full time care-which dad is struggling to provide-at the expense of his own physical and mental health. Mam can’t be left alone or do anything for herself, though is mobile.

Anyone?

So was your dad crystal clear that he can't cope? You have to be incredibly firm with them.

Now my aunty pulled a fast one to ss about looking after my grandma. Bleating to dad who told ss that they couldn't do it anymore then she denied it and he looked a right plonker. Your dad needs to be firm!

I am a sw in adult care. They should take your views into account. If your dad has told them he can manage they might be trying with a small amount of care as a way in to see if he accepts it then hopefully increase. They won't want your dad to die of caring, aim is to prevent crises not cause them.

And if you dont get anywhere make a formal complaint, it will be on the council website and they are taken seriously

People need to be honest as pp have said
. Don't say you can manage if you can't.

My understanding is that you can refuse to accept the assessment. State that your dad can’t do x amount of care.

Is it worth getting an OT assessment for both of them?

This is the problem with parents, they are visibly buckling under the strain and when someone in charge asks them if they want help they say no!

I would speak to the social care people and let them know what you think. They aren't trying to fob him off, they will want to find the best solution and will re assess if necessary. You have to be very clear about what you want, and might have to be quite insistent as things are very tight in the social care sector at the moment. You may have to let the, start their suggested regime and see how it goes for a while, but your dad is perfectly entitled to say 'I can't do this!'

My dad feels guilty, plus my mam was in better form than I’ve seen for about 2 years. Which doesn’t help show how bad it really is. I’ve said I want both financial assessments done, one for homecare and one for full time residential. I’ll try and speak to the social worker. But essentially, if my dad says he can’t do it anymore they can’t force him?

No they cant force your dad, but is he going to sit and watch your mum starve to death? Or will he continue to do his best?

You should ask what the assessment is based on.
As pp said if the assessor asked questions and dad gives positive replies that is what the assessment is based on.
If the assessor is an asshole, the questions can be skewed to produce a "positive" reply.

It may be that you and your dad need to be "together" while the assessment is being carried out.
I would ask if he has also been assessed as he too will likely have needs.
If your mother still has legal capacity then they have to take her decisions into account too. Sometimes the resistance is her not being willing to see how much care is provided by your dad, and him trying to please her.

She doesn’t have capacity and I have poa for health and well-being, shared finance poa with dad. She’s going into respite in November and I can’t see her coming out.