What do I talk to mum about in nursing home.

[Imtoooldforallthis]

Everything I talk about makes her cry. I can't talk about family or what they've done. I can't talk about her as that makes her cry or anything in her life. Any suggestions?

Thanks, lots of good ideas, she would probably like the funny videos, so will give that a try.

The other one that worked well with Dad was talking about things that interested him in the past but without any expectation of him remembering anything or contributing . So for example he loved Switzerland and the trains so I would say to him that I was planning a holiday and chatter about places and trips I was planning to see and occasionally i would get a sign of recognition of a place name. The key is not to get hung up on everything you say being true.

When I visit my mum I am always with someone else, usually my cousin, so we chat about the family - all stuff that we know about each other but under the guise of telling mum so we talk to each other while addressing her. When my daughter visits she does mum's nails which mum enjoys.

I have a video clip on my phone of my son saying hello to her and I will sometimes play that - she doesn't remember that she has seen it before.

With my DF we:

played funny songs he had enjoyed

played easy games like snap, dominoes, kerplunk, buck a roo.

read poems appropriate for the season

Anecdotes from old friends about nice times they had had,

nature and gardening we have done - ‘we saw a dragonfly’/planted the tomatoes./ heard an owl…

I forget to mention the book "I was thinking" by Diana Waugh. She recommends starting conversations by saying "I was thinking ......." For instance I will say to mum "I was thinking about our holiday in Disneyland and remembering how you did x/y/z" and just waiting to see if she wants to add anything. It takes the pressure off of her to remember. I try to remember not to ask her questions, just talk about stories/anecdotes.