Social Services - Safeguarding Flag question, what does it mean?

[Lightbeam]

Hi - I posted recently about my elderly 86yr old Aunt.

Social services have just called me as they visited Aunt after her fall, and have various concerns about her and wanted to talk to me as her next of kin. They are concerned she is wobbly, isn't eating properly, isn't keeping clean and is housebound with no company.
I explained we don't yet have POA in place so my capacity to do anything is limited but they asked i talk to her to try and persuade her to agree to carers, which i will do. But she'll say NO I expect. They then said if that's the case they'll put a safeguarding flag on her due to neglect. And they will arrange carers. They seemed to suggest this would be a BAD outcome...?

I think my Aunt still has capacity, so I'm not sure if they can do this? But what else does it mean? I don't think they were implying I was neglecting her but does that mean they would expect me (or my sister) to step up more? They were asking how often i visited and how far away I live (90 mins).

Thing is, I am already stretched with a full-on full time job, 2 kids (1 with SEN) and a father with dementia for whom I am POA. I definitely feel little obligation to do a great deal for her as she's not my parent and has been very little involved in my life, but obviously I want her to be safe. I have 3rd party access to her current account so can help a bit with the finance side.

I guess my question is, is it really a bad thing if I push it back to Social Services to sort out, I can't really see it is, perhaps I'm missing something.

Firstly, this is a good thing, it means that SS are aware that she is in the community and needs support. She will not be the first elderly lady who thinks she can still be independent but in truth needs help. The neglect is not you neglecting her but her neglecting herself, you and your family have already shown that you are attempting to put help in place. Often the family is best placed to help get someone to a place where they realise a little bit of support is not a bad thing.

Next remember she will be embarrassed if her home is not as clean and tidy as in her younger days. When my mother was dying, my sister and I set to in her kitchen... it was only when we washed all the crockery we realised her diminishing sight meant she was not cleaning her plates properly. My mum was not dirty, just not functioning like she did when she was younger.

You are going to need to employ all your cunning and guile to get her to agree to help... from a blunt, "if we do not do this then they might propose putting you into sheltered accommodation" to, "how lovely to have someone doing all those pesky chores and how good to have someone new to talk to."

You do have your own family and they will understand that you do not live near but in spite of this, you are still wanting to help and protect your aunt.

Thanks for replying. If SS say they can flag her a safeguarding risk and arrange carers regardless of whether I can persuade her, honestly that sounds much easier (for me),
than me trying to persuade her. She's a difficult person, quite prickly and cold.
Assumedly they would organise it, is that right?

I do feel guilty about trying to stay detached but I do so much for my Dad (and did for my late Mum). I already do Aunt's online grocery shopping I feel bad but if I'm honest I'm annoyed I've been lumbered with another elderly relative. My sister has made clear she doesn't want to be involved much at all.

You have no legal duty to try to persuade her or to provide any care - you are well within your rights to just let them get on with it, and frankly if she’s not going to listen to you anyway then why delay the inevitable? SS are very stretched and will always try to find family/friends to provide care if they can but you are 90 mins away, already a carer for two vulnerable people, and work full time. Work out what you can/will do (which may be only to make decisions under POA when the time comes) and stick to that.

You have no duty to get involved in trying to persuade her to get help, they can out in a safeguarding concern for self neglect but someone at the hospital needs to carry out a formal capacity assessment before they start making plans on her behalf.

After a full care needs, mobility, financial and environmental assessment they can only arrange carers if she has capacity to agree to having carers in, having assessments and paying for it. If she does not have capacity then they will need to hold best interest meetings with all her team and then maybe end up applying to the court of protection. You, if you wanted to, would need to apply for deputyship if its too late for poa.

I am sure ss are trying their best but they should also have permission from your auntie to speak to you about her plans for home and her problems

As pp have said you have no duty to get involved at all. Next of kin is not a legal phrase at all.
It sounds like ss are trying to guilt trip you into busting a gut to help out.
Deputyship is expensive and time consuming, just to warn you.

Spoke to my Aunt, as did my sister. Firm NO to anything being put in place which might make her safer or her life easier. No carer or cleaner, doesn't want toilet fixed, doesn't want a walker, won't wear her pendant alarm. Sigh.

Social Service called me, they are getting the same response from her. They said since she's assumed to have capacity that they will discharge her from their list and contact them again if her circumstances change. I did make clear that apart from online groceries I will not be doing any caring role for Aunt. So I hope they've documented that.

Aunt is 86 and very well-off financially, but notoriously miserly. So I expect her attitude is driven by apathy, fear of change and reluctance to spend any of her money. I'm sad for her she's chosen to live like that.

I'm sure you're right about her motivations.

I wouldn't worry tbh. 86 and still living alone and coping somehow even if not brilliantly. Not bad, eh? The most likely outcome is that she'll fall when she's not wearing her alarm and it will be a long time before she's picked up, and if she survives, after a lengthy stay in hospital she will end up in a nursing home. Tbh that could happen even with carers in place. She's liberated you by being so clear in her wishes.

I think doing her online shopping is quite a lot in your circumstances tbh.