Dementia - what should I be doing?

[LaBelleSauvage123]

My dad, who I’ve posted about before on here, has been in a nursing home for a fortnight, having spent the previous month in hospital. He was delirious in hospital but improved gradually. Since going into the home we’ve noticed a steady deterioration again in his mental state. He’s become fixated on disasters - so every time we visit there’s been a fire, a flood or other catastrophe. Today he told my sister a murderer was poisoning patients. He is very polite to the staff but complains behind their backs that he’s being ignored. I don’t know if this is a reaction to the new environment ( he really didn’t want to go into a home) and will settle or whether it’s a sign of rapidly advancing dementia. Any advice or shared experience would be very welcome.

He may well settle a bit, but it does sound like advancing dementia. That kind of paranoia is unfortunately pretty common. Is he on any kind of medication?

My mother had dementia and was in a nursing home for a few years, she wasn't paranoid as such but could be very angry, hostile and also violent at times. In her case there was no magic bullet, but she was given medication to to help her be less anxious and sleep better. It might be worth asking if a doctor could see your dad and assess how he is. NB care homes are often understaffed and I'm guessing nursing homes might be the same, so it is possible he's not getting as much attention as the should.

Incidentally, my mother's mental state always got a lot worse when she had a UTI. I don't know if the same applies in elderly men, but it is a thing. Just thought it worth mentioning.

Good luck OP, it's not an easy situation. I used to lay awake at night feeling guilty about my mother being in a home, but there was nothing else that could be done at that point. Just know you're doing the best you can.

Ask the GP for a meds review and let them know about his distress. My mum went through a paranoid stage with her dementia. It’s upsetting. You have my full sympathy.

yes the mental state worse with UTI thing goes for men as well. Sadly even though its unavoidable, changes in circumstances can precipitate a cognitive deterioration. In my (retired now) experience, it doesn't cause the deteriration but can make it happen sooner than it might have done. Anti anxiety meds can sometimes help and yes its worth talking to the GP. Its a horrible situation for you to be in.

He’s been on mirtrazepine for years but he’s not on any other meds at all.
I’ll ask the home tomorrow if they can check for a UTI.

Dementia cannot be reversed with herbs 🙄

OP have you read "Contented Dementia" by Oliver James?

Will the nursing home keep him as he deteriorates, or will you need to find another ?

Paranoia is common in dementia, but do ask them to test urine for a uti as it can make symptoms worse

WhiskerPatrol - I’ve just sent away for it!
KangarooKenny - they’ll keep him I think.
YorkshirePudding - they told me today they’d done so and it was clear.