Please help me help FIL

[Wildsofwales]

My MIL has been getting progressively more ill since the beginning of the year. Over and again her symptoms were dismissed as COVID, a slipped disc, anaemia, post-COVID - I could go on. Except it wasn’t. She was admitted to hospital last week, and has now been diagnosed with lung cancer, with secondary tumours pretty much everywhere, particularly in her spine. The prognosis is not good at all, and our main hope is that they can stabilise her enough for palliative care at home for as long as possible.
Where DH and I need help is with FIL and his finances going forward. MIL has always dealt with the bank account, insurance etc., and was very wary of anything to do with the internet, online banking and so on. As a result, FIL is getting himself into a state about how he will manage their/ his finances going forward, and has asked DH to help. Am I right that if DH obtained lasting power of attorney he could help his dad with e.g. paying bills online, over-seeing payments and so on? FIL is obviously not in a great place right now, and this is a major worry for him that DH would like to help with, but we want to make sure he goes about it in the right way. My initial thought was DH being a joint account holder with FIL, but a quick google suggests this isn’t a good idea.
To give the full picture they aren’t particularly well off, but do have savings and a lovely home, and everything will pass to FIL when MIL passes. I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but DH has a brother with a long history of drug abuse. PILs have made provision in trust for him after they have both passed, but it would not be be appropriate for him to be involved in their finances/ decisions.
So, is suppose the main question is will POA give DH the ability to help his dad with internet banking, and give him peace of mind? FIL has full capacity and is in very good health himself, so it’s not something we’ve ever really thought about.

Yes, POA for finance means your DH can help your Dad, as this can be used anytime with permission (POA for health can only be used when capacity is lost but finance can be used while he still has capacity.

Luckily FIL had the good foresight to make DH POA and it was a godsend when it was needed. BIL was emphatically NOT POA as you wouldn't trust him having a say in finances.

So complete it properly, with DH being sole POA and he can act on FIL's behalf.

Although it's not too quick!

Missing a ) there!

And sorry about your MIL

POA is a good idea but get it done sooner rather than later as it can take some weeks to get one registered.
Make sure your DH keeps good records of things to save any disputes when both PIL are no longer here.

If you are sorting out POA best to get both Finance and Health and Wellbeing. It saves a lot of problems in the long run.

Once you have them sorted you simply register the POA with the relevant companies. So for my Dad, my brother and I had to go to the bank with the POA and proof of identity and they grant access to the account, you can event get a bank card.

If you need speak to other organisations such as the council or pensions companies you just follow their POA registration process.

Then things like Doctors you register the Health and Wellbeing POA. Which he may not need at the moment but at least you will have it if you need it.

It is all a bit of a PITA but once it is done, it is done.

I wish you all well it is not a nice thing to be going through.

You can also talk to individual banks for permission to handle accounts. My DH has just been given a mandate for her parent's current account with a card, etc. He won't use it as Fil is still managing but it's in case of a sudden illness. It's in addition to the LPA.

His.

So sorry to hear about MIL.

Your FIL can arrange third party access to his bank accounts for DH which is likely to be much quicker than waiting for LPA to come back (although you should definitely do LPA too).

And FIL can authorise organisations to talk to DH on an as-and-when basis when they are together (eg to sort out insurance they phone insurance company, FIL gets helped through security, gives permission for DH to talk on his behalf, DH deals there and then). This is a bit of a PITA but is a lot better than nothing - I did it with Mum.

Also, DH could set up internet access to FILs accounts anyway in the immediate term using his own email/phone etc, although it would be worth FIL signing a letter (witnessed by a 3rd party) to say this is OK pending the arrival of LPA.

We have POA for the PIL and had it for my mum, and I found different organisations had different levels of interest in it - some you just said "I have LPA" and they were happy with that, others wanted certified copies.

Thank you all so much for your very quick replies! BetterCare yes, it does sound like a lot of admin, but PILs have done so much for us, FIL in particular, that we just want to do anything we can to make this horrible time easier for them!

Contact your Fil bank in the short term- they may be able to sort some sort of access for your dh- eg if fil and dh visit bank together with Id? For limited authorised internet access?

Whilst waiting for LPOA to come through get Third party authorisation with the banks. They will give you a debit card and full internet access.
I also just set up online accounts with utilities, phone accounts etc and they had me on file as able to talk to them. Also get your FIL logged as a vulnerable person.
Once POA comes through then you can register it with the banks and the DWP etc which I found a hell of a palava tbh. You should be able to send them a code electronically so they can check the POA but I found not many were set up to do it this way.
Good Luck